Pension or property

[onetiredmum]

Please can any one help.

Long story cut very short!!
Married for 15 years. He turned out to be unfaithful. So filed for divorce 20 months ago.
He moved out and hasn't paid towards the 1100pm mortgage.

Originally I was leaving with the equity in the property and he was keeping his military pension. 22years.
However house won't sell and has reduced in price 30k and still won't sell

So I've been advised to split everything.
Anyway he wants to pay me off with a lump sum when he leaves the army and take 40% equity from the house.

Thing that's bothering me he's only paid 19% of the capital! And paid nothing towards since.

I'm only to get a 1/3 of his pension mind.

I've asked for 70/30 split and 1/3 of the pension but he's refused. He refuses everything!!

So what do i do? Go to court to get them to decide. Take a lump sum in 2 years time (which will be taxed, and I'll get no pension payments when I'm 65?!) - bearing in mind I have no pension!

Can anyone help me please.

I would go to court. I did, self representing, with my military ex-husband. I was happy with the deal I got.
Unfortunately you will find that the fact he has not been paying a share of the mortgage since he moved out will not be taken in to consideration. It wasn't in my case. Apparently it is because it is considered that if you were not living there then you would have to pay rent on somewhere else, and one assumes he has rent costs elsewhere (although v small if he is in military accommodation now). All the more reason to hurry up and go to court to get things sorted. The process takes a while so you may as well get the ball rolling even if you think you might come to an agreement in the intervening period.

Omg I can't believe they don't take it into account. He's actually moved somewhere he's now Not paying ANY bills!.

Yet they're saying I now earn more than he does due to the fact I have benefits and his maintenance payments. They've taken his payments to me off his wages and now claiming after tax he's living on nothing!

I've been trying to sell the house for 12 months with no luck so I'm stuck paying it alone!

I've been worried about self representing and all the stress it will bring but my solicitor has quoted 5k which I simply cannot afford.

She said to me it's a paperwork minefield to do alone!

To OP

Assets accumulated during the marriage will be considered joint regardless of who paid.

If your total income is greater than your husband's I can't see an argument as to why he should contribute to your living costs. Maintenance, if any, is payable by the financially stronger party to the weaker party. Your husband has needs to such as; somewhere to live, food and clothing.

my solicitor has quoted 5k which I simply cannot afford

Can you really afford not to have a solicitor? If you do it yourself you may end up with a worse settlement. At the very least you need to take advice from your solicitor as to what a reasonable split would look like.

If you have no pension then you should start paying into one ASAP

my solicitor has quoted 5k which I simply cannot afford

You may be able to find a Solicitor that will enter into a Sears Tooth Agreement if you have assets. Solicitor is paid from the Settlement at the end of the proceedings. However, don't build your hopes up as such solicitors are few in number according to my acting solicitor.

Maybe you can agree a monthly payment plan if you are working and have a regular income?

My ex tried to Self Represent part way through the proceedings, but it only delayed things as hearings were adjourned due to lack of compliance by ex. To speed things up I paid their fees myself on the understanding that it would form part of the final settlement.

As Divorce is a life changing event and you will have to live with the outcome for a long time you seek advice from an experienced Family Law Solicitor.