Contact request

[PipLongStockings]

My abusive ex has gone to a solicitor to seek contact of the children. He has not seen them in 4 months due to alcohol and drug abuse and not being able to meet childrens physical and emotional needs.
The solicitors letter requests I make them available for him to have every other weekend, if not they will seek a contact order in family court.
Do I reply to this letter or do I let them apply to court?

If he's gone to the trouble of getting a solicitor, then this may well end up in courts, unless you can decide a mutually acceptable contact pattern by negotiation.

What do you think would be a suitable level of contact now, and how long do you think it would take to work onwards EOW? (No prospect until he's adequately clean and sober, and contact in a centre until then, might be the answer to that one)

Well DS10 adamantly wants zero contact after years of aggression towards him. My 5 yr old is a little less certain. But his school approached me on the last occasion he was supposed to see his dad as everytime my DS5 went to school after seeing his father he would have an almighty melt down in class.
So currently my offer of contact is zero, can I reply that? And request he gets into a drug/alcohol programme?

If he’s going to go to court I’d consider offering supervised contact in a contact centre, ask that he seeks appropriate support for his alcohol and drug problem and seek appropriate emotional support for your children. Courts aren’t going to look kindly on your position of zero contact and they won’t order that until they’ve explored all other possible avenues.

I've had a range of different solicitors letters, none of which lead to an application to court. When dealing with an addict who is unfit to parent, I think it's wise to consider offering contact centre but also to inform that any application to court will involve hair strand tests. In my case, he knew he would never pass these.

Courts aren’t going to look kindly on your position of zero contact

Not necessarily true. A position that is "I don't think contact is in their best interests because xyz but will consider CAFCASS's views" is perfectly respectable, where xyz is things like violence or aggression to kids, or mum, or is substance misuse etc. The fact is, you need expert help, and that is what CAFCASS is.

An important clarification MrsBertBibby, thank you. I had meant that if the OPs position was “no contact, end of”, that wouldn’t be looked on kindly.

No contact is the harshest of positions to take - indirect contact or supervised contact can still be appropriate in cases of violence or substance misuse.