Sil aimed for colaborative divorce but at wits' end

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My SIL and her husband separated over 4 years ago. I think they agreed to cite his unreasonable behaviour but I am not sure that makes a difference to divorce outcome. They chose the collaborative divorce process but for the last 12 months her STBXH has not attended a meeting and before that he was petty and obstructive according to the solicitors. It seems that SIL is at a dead end. I understand that to move to a court divorce she would need to start afresh with a different solicitor. How much could that cost? Background: 2 kids (15 and 12). He was breadwinner and lived away Mon to Fri in last years of the marriage while she was primary carer. She is in marital home which has no mortgage. He has a flat (and new GF), big public sector pension.

My DH and I want to help but not sure what to advise. It seems that if collaborative process has broken down there is no point putting good money after bad. What would happen legally if she just pulled out of that process, and started court proceedings maybe in a couple of years when she has saved enough money to pay for it. Is legal aid available? I wonder if he would have more incentive to get on with the divorce from his GF and forcing him into a court divorce would settle it more quickly? It is not good for SIL's mental state for this to be so open-ended. FWIW the eldest child refuses to see his father now and I suspect the other will follow suit soon.

Hooe that makes sense.

Bumping and apologies for title typo

God yes, pull the plug on collaboration and start afresh.

Utterly pointless to continue. Legal aid for this is long gone unless she has proof of violence.

Go to a new solicitor and get advice on her best options.

Honestly, collaborative law is a game for very very rich people who like meetings.

Thanks so much for your response, its in line with my thoughts. Is it based on your own experience? I think SIL is fearful that court route will cost even more but even so it has to be better than this limbo where he is being awkward just because he can.

Court is expensive, but it guarantees an end result.

Collaboration is expensive, but there is no guarantee of any finality.

If 4 years has not produced resolution then I would doubt another 4 will do anything but burn more cash.

Frankly, the collaborative lawyers in your case should be ashamed of themselves. 4 bloody years and no one has called It? Ridiculous.

I am a famiky solicitor, btw. I don't do collaborative. My clients don't have money to burn.

Fab thanks. SiL definitely doesn't have money to burn!

To MrsBertBibby

Your comments make me laugh so much about my own divorce. Ex wife used solicitors who claimed to be Family Law experts and recommended a Barrister who specialized in Collaborative Law.

Divorce took almost 2 years to conclude. Final legal costs were about 35% of family assets. I would have rather given the money to the ex wife. However, as I was the respondent to the Financial Order and ex wife was the Applicant I was forced to go along.

Thankfully my Barrister was able to argue that the process had taken too long and most of my Legal costs were subtracted from the available funds remaining before Judge decided who got what.

As so much was spent on legal the ex wife final settlement was a lot lower than my offer two years earlier!!!!!!!