Supervising contact

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NAME CHANGE

Ill try and keep it brief but dont want to drip feed,

DS10 dad and I seperated 7 years ago, was a messy break up, hes controlling, paranoid and manipulative. Although he never hit me, he controlled everything I did and if I stepped out of line would scream and shout at me while I would cowerd in the corner. We went to court for access, he was granted supervision at first and slowly over the years has become unsupervised, he is living with parents so didnt have any great concern with contact as he would always be with them overnight. Anyway, he has had many girlfriends over the years, and whenever they broke up would always find out one way or another why, usually because of his behaviour, this time I have heard that the reason he has split up with this gf is because he has hit her and smashed her room up, So I have requested supervised contact, he is denying it, and I dont know what to believe, I dont know about him hitting her, but I do believe he would smash her room up as he would put holes in doors and walls etc when we were together. He is now getting in my head again, telling me im the one in the wrong when all Im doing is, IMO, what any normal parent would do if they heard this info. Am I within my rights to ask for supervised contact or am I being completely out of order?

Does your court order state unsupervised contact? If so, you would need to get this amended and, without any proof this happened, I doubt the order would be changed, especially as it didn't directly impact your kids.

It does, the court order is about 5 years old though and has never really been followed, usually by him. He should see him every other weekend and half school hols, school hols has never happened due to "work", and its usuauly a Sunday contact and occasionally overnight, so I assumed we didnt have to follow the contact anymore?

Follow the court order, I mean, not contact

Technically the order is what would be enforced if it went back to court. If you suddenly denied unsupervised contact then your ex would be able to take you back to court for breaching the order. Whilst the courts hope that things can evolve over the years they take a dim view of things going backwards as opposed to forwards.

@Ginger1982 Im not refusing contact, Im just asking that its supervised. It has gone back and forwards for years, He stopped seeing him about 2 years ago for 10 months while he "sorted his head out" He just does as he pleases re contact then has a go when he doesnt get his way

Who is supposed to supervise contact? If the court ordered that all contact is supervised you were wrong to let him have unsupervised contact anyway. I would insist that all contact going forwards is supervised and if he want's it any different he will have to take you back to court.

@RafikilsTheBest Originally the court ordered supervised contact, the supervisor to be his then gf (who was a childminder), that was to last for a few months, then gradual contact on his own, then longer, then over night, over a period of about 12 months (i cant remember specifics) He has never lived on his own, he either lives with his parents or gf.

You really need to take the order to a solicitor and get proper advice. It is very difficult to advise when you can't actually see the papers.

OP I know you're not refusing contact but if your order says contact to be unsupervised and now you're wanting to change that 'backwards' to supervised contact then that is technically breaching the order. As PP said, best to take your papers to a local solicitor.