Scared we will lose our home

[Shinynew50p]

One wk ago I finally took my dc and left my abusive husband. I am staying at my parents with our two year old. After a hellish few days he seems to realise I am serious this time.

He has agreed we can move back into our mortgaged family home, and he will move out to a friends, but he has already messaged me several times telling me we need to get the house on the market asap, or can I buy him out. This is really stressing me out. I should of thought about this before fleeing I know. Our mortgage is £500 a month. Private rents for lesser properties around our area are £1000 a month. I simply cannot afford to pay that. I won't be able to buy him out. I only earn 12k a year- I left my well paid job once I had my daughter for a lower paid more local one in order to save on our childcare bills. We mutually agreed this but he has such resentment that I work part time, it caused huge arguments.

Our house is valued at 290 ish, with 130 of equity.

Is there anything I can do? If he could give me a year or so I could try and increase my earnings so I could raise a mortgage...

I really can't bear the thought of moving out of my house into a grotty rented and paying double for the privillage.

You don't need to do anything quickly, love, except make sure you and your child are safe. Talk to women's Aid or phone the Rights of Women helpline to get a good solicitor with experience of abusive men. The house will be sorted out in divorce proceedings, not immediately.

Thank you. I have tried to ring woman's aid several times but can't get through. I will keep trying.

You need legal advice (cab?) but could you stay there, take on the current mortgage (you’ll eventually have to buy him out but he may be prepaid to wait) could you then take a lodger?

And see about tax credits as your circumstances have changed. Plus council tax single occupancy?

Sorry you're struggling to get through; I e heard that phoning a local device in your area can make it easier to get through. You can find it through this link. www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/

Rights of Women legal helpline numbers are here - rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-advice/family-law/

Most important thing is that you'll be safe if you move back home, and I really think it might be worth getting advice before you do so.

Make an appt to discuss options with your mortgage supplier. I bought my oh out by extending the length of my mortgage by that amount. You may of course also need to consider now going back to work full time. But do take your time to learn what your options are.

Bionic thanks for your reply.

I think he is after his half of the equity asap that's his issue.

I could pay the current mortgage on my own, deffinately as I will be entitled to tax credits etc. We had lodgers before, I would do that again no problem. Biggest issue is I won't be able to get a mortgage to buy him out.

You need a good solicitor.
A husband doesn't have the right to make his wife and DC homeless, just because he would like his share of the house money, now.

Try several solicitors if necessary: you need one you can communicate with, and who you feel is on your side.

Don't let exDH tell you how it has to be.

Maybe also ask for input on the Legal Matters board.Some great family solicitors hang out there.

Whilst he is almost certainly entitled to some of the equity, your mistake is assuming he's entitled to half. He is probably entitled to much less. He may also not be entitled to get in the kids are grown up. But (assuming you're married?) you will need to see a solicitor - a shit hot one, who can get a reasonable financial settlement for you. But that will all take time. For the time being move back in, claim tax credits and child maintenance and if he gets funny pay the mortgage yourself. But make sure it comes out of your account so it's clear you've been paying it.

Thanks everyone. I'm just looking forward to getting back into my home for now.

Is it possible for me to pay him his equity (loan from family) but leave his name on the mortgage, but get him to sign a document of some sort forgoing his stake??

Ffs don't pay him anything! Use the money for a solicitor. You have a responsibility to your children not him.

The DC need to be housed he may have zero right to equity now - legal advice all the way. You need a SHL - shit hot lawyer

You need legal advice you need to consider all assets not just the house, savings, pension, shares, etc.

Do you have evidence of his abuse for legal aid?

Dont do anything yet without going to a solicitor first but people are incorrect about him not having any right to his equality until youngest is grown up espically if the child is young as mesher orders are rare now.
And if you end up with on he will most likely get 50% of the value since he will have had to wait for his share even if your share wont cover a new place for you so its not all plain sailing as i know people after the mesher order has finished they were too old for a mortgage and instead of moving earlier (she stayed aslong as possible piss her ex off ) then realised the court would not give her a larger share since she would not be able to get a new property.

Speak to women's aid and also your mortgage provider ASAP

and a solicitor