CAO. Holiday abroad.. RP lying. Help

[TooMuchSunshine]

So dp has a CAO. With set days an times as ex was being ' difficult'
He won and got everything plus more that he requested.

His ex has booked a holiday abroad.. Do is due to pick the dc up on the Fri afternoon and exes flight back with dc isn't until the Sat.. She has not notified him. Of this we have been told by a mutual friend.
His ex is goingto make out there was a ' flight delay' and get her mother to call the Friday to inform him of this.

The CAO states he is to collect dc at 4pm each Fri. Any differences must be agreed.

Wherw would he stand.

Also children has a double barreled name.. Does he need to give her a letter to take with her to say he allows it ( he has no problem with them going)..
I know with my DS and his dad I gave him. A letter just incase of any questions

I understand it’s been a shitfight. But it’s one day. What does he hope to achieve? Cancel the holiday? That’s really all he can do. Is having his rights worth 24 hours?

Pick your battles OP. It is one day; yes by rights she should be observing the CAO BUT I'm sure your dsc will have a good time. It may be that if she didn't book these dates that she could not have afforded dates that fit in with the contact times.

Don’t be mean and awkward for the sake of it. The DC are the ones to think about.

Yes, ex is not abiding exactly to the Agreement
But consider what is in the child's best interest, do you want their holiday to be cancelled?
Let her go ahead, but DP should make it clear that you are aware that her return flight is a day late but will let it slide just this once.
He might want an extra day in the future

He won't want to stop the holiday. Just maybe a bit of communication wouldn't go a miss and he wouldn't of said no if she'd asked.
Even though last week he wanted them an hour earlier to go to a party and her reply was that's not the hours in the order.
The kids lost out unfortunately but to be fair they didnt know about the party so we're unawares of it all.

R. E the letter I should of explained better.. Should he writ e that he has no issue them going to ( destination) and she can take it of feels necessary.. Like I say I've always given my ex one as just makes it easier..?

If he knows thT the flight is back on Saturday, why doesn’t he tell her so he has the upper hand and looks good.

Given that she refused them an hour earlier last week, he maybe should write to her pointing out that he is aware the flight doesnt arrive until the Saturday, that it isnt a problem, but he will expect some flexibility from her too in the future, which didn't happen last weekend.

She can't have it both ways, no flexibility on her part, but then wanting a flight to arrive the next day. I think he should be asking when she was going to tell him about the flight arrival and maybe ask for the flight details so you can check it is on time on the Saturday. Gives her no room for lying. Also point out the 'any differences must be agreed' clause.

I would let her know that he agrees to the dc coming back a day later as it is in their best interests.

I would also include that she was unwilling to deviate from the order last week so they could attend a party.

In future a both need to be willing to be flexible.

Get it all in an email so there is a record of the exchange.

Or if she is going to be unwilling to be flexible in the future I would let her continue with her plan. Let her break the terms of the order. It will be very easy to prove that the flight wasn't massively delayed. This could be valuable evidence if you need to return to court again.

In fact I would probably do the second one.

As you are posting in legal, it would seem you want a legal solution to this. You can take her to court for breaching the order or you can frustrate her plans by not giving the letter and hoping she cannot travel without it. Neither would be in the children's best interest. I suggest you wish them a lovely happy holiday and do all you can to ensure they have a nice time.

If there is a CAO she doesn't need his permission, it will say on it resident parents can take their children for no more than 28 days without his permission, 99% of the time.

I would pick my battles, kill her with kindness, perhaps offer that she can have the child the day after to recover from travel. Then ask for an extra day the other end or next time. That is most likely why she plans to do what has been rumoured.

In your DPs shoes I’d write and say he’s aware that the return flight is on xx day at xx time, politely remind the ex that in future these things should be agreed and in the interests of the children, he will collect them on yy day at yy time.

Notsurprised - while the RP can take the child abroad without permission from the NRP, that doesn’t mean the RP can ignore the court ordered contact with the NRP which seems to be the problem here.

No she cant, but if the NRP isn't flexible for the holiday then that will only make them look unreasonable in court, for the sake of 1 day.

@toomuchsunshine, you are entitled to be upset that the ex is knowingly flouting the court order. I'm sure that, if she'd asked, you'd have offered flexibility, but her dishonesty is appalling.

Personally I'd agree to allow the holiday yo take place, despite the end date breaching the court order, but would write to her warning her that if she continues to breach the order without consulting you, you will have no choice but to go back to court to seek enforcement of the order. Make it clear she can't keep doing this, or she will keep taking the piss.

I agree it's important to be child-focused, so the holiday should go ahead, but a mother knowingly interfering with a father's court-ordered time with his children is not in the child's best interests.