Separation/child maintenance etc

[BigGrannyPants]

Need some legal/financial advice please..

Together 16 years, lived together 12 years, married 3.5 years.

DH is leaving me, there has been no infidelity, abuse or wrong doing in general on either side. He just doesn't love me anymore.

We have 3 DC, 8, 3 and 3.

We live in my parents second property rent free but pay all the household/utilities and upkeep.

We have mounds of debt, approx £20K to various people. Unsecured and mostly in my name but created by us both.

I am a SAHM and I have disability that will make going back to work extremely unlikely. Especially in the short term as childcare is so expensive.

DH has a relative who has offered the proceeds of the sale of her second property to pay off debt and get his self set up. However, property has been on the market for quite some time with little interest and I have to consider the possibility this offer is not genuine and may not materialise.

DH is currently living in this property while it's on the market but really has no where else to go.

He is still back at home a few times a week to see the kids. But he has said he can't continue staying at the house, he says it's not healthy.

So neither of us really know what to do, how much does/should he pay in maintenance. Does he have a responsibility to me because I have stayed at home to allow him to have a career?

We are friendly, amicable and perfectly willing to work together to make the best of this for the sake of the kids and each other. We would rather not go through solicitors/courts etc

I can continue to live rent free in my parents 2nd property.

I currently receive CTC, PIP (highest rates) and CB.

I'd love any advice, experience you lovely MNers can offer!

All your ex has to pay is a percent of his earning for child maintence nothing else is legally meant to be paid.
Go look at child maintence options
Work out how many nights he had them at his place and it calculates by what he should pay you

The debt if in your name sadly it’s your debt
My daughter she got a £5,000 loan out for her ex fiancée and he wouldn’t pay it they split up sadly he killed himslwf last month the debt is hers until paid off.

Apart from child support he has no other finacal responsibilities to you as you live rent free it shouldn’t be a struggle tbh

Thankfully there is no dispute over the debt. We will continue to manage that collectively until such times we can pay it off

The previous poster would be right if you had not married. You were married. It is therefore not necessarily the case that debts in your name are yours. You may also be entitled to a payment from him and/or spousal maintenance. Going to a solicitor doesn't necessarily mean it will end up with the courts deciding but you do need to get a consent order, otherwise one of you could make a financial claim against the other in the future. I would strongly recommend seeing a solicitor. Once they have all the facts they will be able to tell you what a fair split would look like.

You can't claim income support too when he has moved out, don't forget to update tax credits he has left too.

You CAN claim

Where does income support come from? Is that a benefit or is DH responsible for that? I have done a tax credits calculation but I never trust these things so I don't want to rely on the figure until I'm actually putting in my change of circumstances. Is there any assistance I can claim for my disability? I will struggle to manage housework and cooking etc

It is a benefit, for not being able to work, which you can't due to children and disability.

The online calculators are pretty spot on for me over the last few years.

Sooner he moves out 100% the better money wise.

I don't know sorry, my carer is my husband so I have never looked into it. Perhaps contact homestart, they are a charity and have helped us a lot.

Could a friend come over and help? They will get £64 a week carers allowance but you will loose a bit of your benefits to make this up.

You won't have a benefit cap over your head. So you should get a huge increase, housing benefit/council tax, tax credits etc.