Hello.
I left a domestic abuse situation four and a half years ago. At the time my son was 3 years old. Since then, to cut a long story short, my ex partner has done all he can to sabotage my relationship with my son, sinking lower than low. It got so bad I provided enough evidence to get my son put under child protection for emotinal abuse. I believed that this would hold my ex to account and protect my son. It didn't. His dad never showed up at any panels, and to my horror, the plan stated he was suffering emotional abuse from both parents. Something I have asked them to retract, but they refuse to do, even though they have no evidence to support this.
My son became violent. And I mean violent. Unmanagable and school refusing. I became exhausted and ill and was diagnosed with ME. Last year the name calling, hitting and destruction of my home became too much and I took my son to his dad's after getting nowhere with children's services. He stayed there for three months. He refused to see me and so I waited until he was ready to come home. When he did, he asked me if he was allowed to love me.
Children's services advised me to stop my son having any contact with his dad. What they were asking me was to keep an already violent child, away from his father. This, I knew, would make him even more angry with me. I also knew that I would have to deal with a very angry, unstable, abusive man who believes he is above the law. I was too scared.
My son had been refusing to go to school for months. One day, he was being particularly difficult. He attacked my partner who shouted at my son. My ex got wind of this, came to my house and tried to force his way in. He ended up taking my son against my will and he has been with him ever since. My little boy was about to be assessed as children's services were going before a panel. As soon as my son was staying with his father, attending school and they stopped getting calls that I was being beaten up, they told that panel the situation had changed, and now he apparently doesn't need to be assessed because everything is fine, and I have been taken out of the picture.
My ex will not arrange any contact between me and my son because he claims my son does not want to see me. The police have advised me not to go to his house because of his previous arrest for common assault and threat to kill against me. When I go to school at pick up time to see my son, his social worker calls to ask me why I'm there because his dad has tipped her off (there is no reason I cannot go to the school, in fact, it is my ex who cannot go into school for meetings because of his abusive behaviour at a previous meeting).
They tell me to go to court for an arrangement order. Two things are stopping me;
I do not trust children's services to give me a fair representation when asked by the court;
I will have to send the C100 in with a supplimentary form hilighting 20 years of domestic abuse which will be passed to my ex. He will no doubt use this to turn my son against me further. I have told CS that if I go to court, my little boy will suffer more emotional abuse/brainwashing. They refuse to listen.
I haven't seen my son for 4 weeks today. He was prevented from speaking to me on my birthday. I know that this is being done, in part, to avoid paying me any maintenance. Which he has refused to do for the past four years anyway.
My ex told me if I left, he would "have" me.
Nobody is taking me seriously.
I have written to my MP but have heard nothing.
I have no idea where to turn.
If you have any advice, I would be very grateful.