contact order

[aljay69]

please help me ?
in brief my 4 young kids are living in lincolnshire with their dad .
he took them from our home in the south and eventualy after 2 years of courts i had to agree to leave them there as they couldnt be disrupted again.
the court ordered him to bring them to me every holidays etc.
2 years ago he stopped all contact , no word at all since and as i couldnt get legal aid ive been in limbo as well as hell.
i made contacted with my eldest through her friend and she told me a social worker has stopped all contact until they are 16 as my older daughter offered her adrink during the last visit, it wasnt alcohol but my daughter being 12 at the time thought it was.
she is terrified social services will find out weve spoken and has told me that all 4 kids are heartbroken.
can social services stop contact by going against the court order ?
ive not been told about this ?
surely the worker would have to apply to court not decide herself to cut me off completely?
and id have to be contacted wouldnt i?
im not allowed to even speak to them.
there was noviolence on my part , it was just my stupidity believing he would bring them home at the end of the week, in which time hed gone for residency , i couldnt uproot them again apparently even tho he was violent , they were 9 months , 3, 5 and 7.
he hit my older daughter so i told him to leave which he did with my kids.
he moved into his ex wifes home and they had to call her mum.
theres so much more but i really just need to know if the worker has the power to stop all contact , my kids are so scared they will get in trouble if they talk to me x

I would contact social services in the area and ask for a meeting.
Tell them all your concerns and the rumours and ask them to check on the children's living conditions and how they are doing at school, that will be s big indicator.

You need to try and get some really legal advice, and fight for your kids, even if they cant move back with you - long period of no contact, you need to put yourself back in their lives.

Don't rely on your ex to bring them to you, you have to make the effort yourself. It is going to be a LONG process and it will take a lot of effort from you. If you are serious then go for it, but two years with no contact or genuine interest from is going to work against you.

Try first by writing letters, keep copies, send photos. Give info about you don't just ask a few questions and don't bring up their dad. Write individual letters so each child feels special. Maybe send a small gift like a copy of an old photo of you together, something you have made... Personal items that mean something, token things, not big expensive things.

How awful, that doesn't sound right at all. I thought that almost all parents were offered at least supervised contact, often with the possibility to work up to unsupervised over time. Maybe contact SS in his area, you should at least get a full story.

Sorry I can't give any more helpful advice, I'm hope someone more knowledgeable is along soon

Is there a court order for contact?

thanks for your swift replies.
i have been ringing their phones , dads phone , writing to them , no replies or any response .
there was no doubt by the judge that i did nothing wrong and the only reason they were ordered to stay with him was the 250 miles between me and them.
i was picking them up in the end and returning them , for first 2 years , i also went the 500 mile round trip every month for the 2 years of court. even had my baby early due to the final hearing being around my due date,there was never any doubt that i was 100 percent commited to getting them home.
i rang around solicitors when he first cut me off but was told id have to pay for solicitors at both ends as during the original 2 years , as well as all other costs with transport up there etc ..i just couldnt afford to do it , im alreay 10,000 in debt due to court cost, he knew legal aid had changed , thats why he stopped contact at that time .
its not through choice that its been 2 years , ive sent birthday cards through moonpig so its all recorded but i dont know if they even live at their last address, they moved 3 times in a year already.
ive rung another solicitor who has said legal aid is so complicated still , but even so im more convinced that social services cant stop contact no matter what ,ive done nothing to deserve this ..not even a phone call in 2 years, if i lived closer than the 500 miles i would knock on every door but sadly ..its not that easy.
thanks again x

yes i have a court order allowing me to have them every half term, 3 weeks of summer holidays , alternative xmas and phone calls anytime.
also if agreed further contact whenever agreeable x

im sorry if posting replies in the wrong place lol
im new to this x

You need to apply to the court for the order to be enforced. You don't need a solicitor to do that. Social services cannot make things up as they go along and I suspect you are being spun a line.

Ok, much clearer now.

Social services wouldn't stop contact without you knowing and if you haven't been in the picture why would they stop you??
Obviously this is what your ex has told the kids and your daughter has passed on to friend.

Contact social services in the area, tell them everything and tell them you are concerned about their wellbeing.

Contact the local authority, tell them you want to know what school the children are at, that you have parental responsibility etc, ask for their address from the schools. No reason you can't have it and no court order blocking you from having this information, so do this first before ex tries to block you.

As you can't afford legal help, try and see Citizens advice.

I would apply for a child arrangements order, ask for cafcass input and social services input via a section 7 report. Ask for all the help you can so they can really spend time with the kids and see what is going on.

Point out parental alienation, the rumours of social services etc- but first find the kids, ask school for address and speak to social services.

I'm sure you will have already thought of it, but is the any way you could move closer? I know it would mean finding a new job and house etc. But then there would be less barriers to argue against regular contact.

Also, I thought you could still get legal aid in cases of domestic violence. Might not qualify as it now historic, but worth looking into.

As you haven't had contact in such a long time you can't really go in straight away applying for a enforcement of the order. So much has changed and needs to be looked at, mention the old case and order but tell the court that it broke down and the whole situation needs looking at with help of other services to repair the damage caused by no contact.

She won't get legal aid.

Moving is important

OP.

You have my sympathies, what a hideous situation.

Can I suggest you try this board for some advice (it's one I've used in the past)

www.separateddads.co.uk/forum/forum-25.html

It's mostly used by Dads rather than Mums but the situation you're in is one that is more common to men than women. You'll get specific advice on there on what to do. If you're worried about posting as a woman (although you needn't be) then just post as a man.

Good luck.