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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Original poster

Ex partner

42 replies

Mummyoftwo2018 · 14/06/2018 01:03

Even though my ex partner isn't my DD biological father does he have any form of rights over her (not on bc)

OP posts:

Collaborate · 14/06/2018 08:55

When you've got married your husband can apply as a step-parent for parental responsibility. the only problem you have with that is that the father becomes a party to the proceedings and must be served. If you think he'll just ignore it, then fine. But if it sparks a sudden interest in your daughter, it might be wise do nothing. Only you have parental responsibility. You can make a will to include a guardianship clause in favour of your then husband, who would acquire PR on your death.

Caribbeanyesplease · 14/06/2018 12:24

Your ex (not the biological father) has NO rights. None, zilch, nada. Never did, never will. Don’t waste your money on a solicitor. He doesn’t have any rights. Period.

The biological father has a right to see his daughter and be involved in her life. Unless of course the courts decided he posed a risk to his daughter.

Caribbeanyesplease · 14/06/2018 12:26

was told I would pretty much have to adopt her myself and tbh I don't want my DD bio having anything to do with her as he didn't want to bother with anything when I was pregnant

“Adopt her yourself”

And I’m afraid you don’t get to make that call because he has nothing to do with you during pregnancy. I understand you may be bitter though.

Orlandobound · 14/06/2018 16:08

Ex1 has no rights and isn't on the birth certificate

Ex2 has no rights and isn't on the birth certificate

Therefore you can do a step parental responsibility form with your partner when you are married not before.

You won't need permission off ex1 because although he is the biological father he doesn't not have parental rights nor is he on the birth certificate, and no contact so no child arrangements order.

I've completed one recently, only those with parental rights fill out the form. You can find it easily online, take it to the court to witness your signatures and take photo id and birth certificate and marriage certificate.

I would wait until you have been married a year or two, make sure this relationship is going to last it sounds like you have jumped one relationship to the other.

I thought I knew my ex, knew him all my life then he abused me when I was pregnant and our child once he was born, and sexually attacked me three times. I'm not saying that will happen to you, I'm saying people can hide who they really are or change and relationships can change too, as you know with two exes.

Congrats on the wedding, hope it works out.

Orlandobound · 14/06/2018 16:10

Ex 1 hasn't shown any interest, so don't bring it up until he does.

Collaborate · 14/06/2018 20:50

Ex1 has no rights and isn't on the birth certificate Incorrect. they have the right to apply for a s8 order - the right to be served with s8 applications, etc etc.

Therefore you can do a step parental responsibility form with your partner when you are married not before. that is correct. A parent who doesn't have PR does not need to be a signatory to a step-parent PR agreement.

Orlandobound · 14/06/2018 22:20

Ex1 has no rights and isn't on the birth certificate Incorrect. they have the right to apply for a s8 order - the right to be served with s8 applications, etc etc.

I meant parental rights/responsibility sorry I should have explained that better. Obviously he can apply for orders etc but needs permission from the court to do so, which he will get. If op does a step parental responsibility agreement with her fiance when they are married, and biological father still isn't interested and is no contact he won't need to know she has done it as he has no parental rights.

RedHelenB · 14/06/2018 22:52

Poor kid onto dad no.3 and only 6 years old. Personally I would hold off any legal changes until she is of an age to fully understand the situation. What was ex. 2 like when you were together with her and what did she call him?

SpareASquare · 14/06/2018 23:47

Yeah, I'm with @RedHelenB here. Don't do it. The poor kid doesn't need yet another 'dad' who may or may not be around in a couple of years.

I find calling your boyfriend 'dad' after such a short time really off. How confusing this all must be for the poor child

Collaborate · 15/06/2018 00:01

I meant parental rights/responsibility sorry I should have explained that better. Obviously he can apply for orders etc but needs permission from the court to do so, which he will get
Wrong again. A father without PR does not need leave to apply. Please don’t post “advice” if it’s just your best guess.

Orlandobound · 15/06/2018 00:58

My friend's boyfriend told me he had to, it wasn't a guess.

Jonbb · 15/06/2018 01:23

Unless you were married to your ex (the one who is not her biological father) he has no rights at all over your daughter. If you want, the person to whom you are marrying can adopt your daughter. It is difficult without her biological fathers consent, but presumably he has not had contact since birth so it can be done. However I would strongly counsel against you taking that step. If you were together already for years, perhaps it would be a nice gesture, but in the event of a divorce your daughter will have the right to a relationship with him and he would be liable for child support.

Collaborate · 15/06/2018 06:33

My friend's boyfriend told me he had to, it wasn't a guess.
I’m very sorry. I am surely wrong, and my 27 years doing this work means absolutely nothing in the face of your compelling legal research.

combatbarbie · 15/06/2018 06:45

Ex 2 has nothing to do with this, you need to apply for parental responsibility for your partner.

Orlandobound · 15/06/2018 08:35

Collaborate

"When you've got married your husband can apply as a step-parent for parental responsibility. the only problem you have with that is that the father becomes a party to the proceedings and must be served. If you think he'll just ignore it, then fine. But if it sparks a sudden interest in your daughter, it might be wise do nothing. Only you have parental responsibility. You can make a will to include a guardianship clause in favour of your then husband, who would acquire PR on your death."

Also @collaborate... Half of this is quoting me "
Therefore you can do a step parental responsibility form with your partner when you are married not before. that is correct. A parent who doesn't have PR does not need to be a signatory to a step-parent PR agreement."

You said her ex would be a party, no he won't because he doesn't have PR and there is no need to go to court over this matter and in these circumstances. So maybe even with 27 years you get things wrong and maybe with no years and just an interest in family law I get some things right. Your "advice" wasn't the best either, I'm not going around telling you to stop incase you get the next thing wrong or tell someone to go to court when it isn't needed.
You told me not to guess, I told you I wasn't guessing I was told by a male friend he had to do it. Maybe he was misinformed by citizens advice, I don't know but I know he did it because he was ticked off about applying for his own child.

I'm sorry I didn't research my answer thoroughly.

Your answer, however, just shows humans make mistakes and even with a lot of experience you can be incorrect or give bad advice.

Original poster

Mummyoftwo2018 · 15/06/2018 11:17

My daughter isn't on dad number 3 actually ! Ex1 never had anything to do with her so she don't know him and she never called ex2 dad it's was always by his name so please don't jump to conclusions ! She has only ever called my fiancé dad even when we weren't together because we were best friends and he helped raise her and always treated her as his own and still does and that's the bond they have

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 15/06/2018 21:40

Mummy dad 1 IS her dad. He may be a complete waste of space but you can't rewrite history!

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