Choice of day care and parental responsibility

[Poloma77]

Here is the case:
Mother and father are separated.
The mother wishes to send their child to daycare in the summer. The father does not approve of her choice because it does not suit the child developmentally. It is a daycare for disabled children (some severely) but the child is very high functioning ASD and attends a mainstream school with some assistance from a TA but is academically normal. The child usually attends a mainstream daycare run by the school during the holidays with no 1-on-1 support. He is demonstrably at a more advanced developmental level than the other children at the specialist daycare (which he attended on Saturdays until about 1.5 yrs ago, and stopped for that reason). The father has parental responsibility. Can this decision be made by the mother alone?

She can send the child where she likes during her contact days. Dad can send him where he likes, or not, on his contact days.

Thank you. Is this in line with the rights of the parent regarding education and parental responsibility?

No, either parent can lodge a complaint with the court if they’re unhappy about where the child is being sent.

Has the father suggested and researched alternatives? Who is paying for it?

He has offered to search for alternatives. They split the cost 50/50.

If this was an argument about which holiday club to use, the poster who said the mother can do what she likes during her contact days would be right. However, it sounds like this is more than a simple holiday club and may stray into areas where the father has the right to a say. If he is unhappy he should consult a lawyer. Once they are in full possession of the facts they will be able to advise on his chances of getting a court order.

^ that is why i am confused too... Is it educational or just daycare?

The father has an equal say over educational choices.

This appears to be daycare over the summer holidays (OPmsays the DC attends school with TA support in the classroom, but is OK without support in (familiar) after school club.

For the plan for summer daycare, a setting which knows his needs, is happy to take him, and which can be relied on is important. you actually know they can cope. What he then does each day in the weeks he is there, is also important but it is possible that it will be well differentiated. It is not term time, then a much broader idea of what is "appropriate" wouid apply then when choosing a school.

Unless there is an alternative place lined up, who you can also be sure can cope (as opposed to over-optimistically just saying so) then I think asking for changes in June to a childcare plan which begins in July is far too late. choosijg between two possible settings where he could have a place is one thing. Saying this must not happen, when there is no alternative, is impractical. Unless of course the father is offering to care himself for his DS those weeks? Wouid that be overturning an established pattern of contact?

I am assuming you are the dad..

Are you in the uk as your use of language is odd?

If your child has ASD he may simply just enjoy it. Have you looked at what activities they are doing..

"He is demonstrably at a more advanced developmental level than the other children at the specialist daycare"

Why does it matter? Most daycares the children are all different ages, or spilt into baby to 3yrs, 3-5yrs, 6-8 yrs etc

You yourself have called it daycare not summer school. You do sound like the father and it sounds like you are being "disabledist". Perhaps if this child is around these children he will learn some humility because it doesn't sound like you're teaching him it. He is no better than the other children there, he is just more academic.

What matters is his needs are met and he is in an environment that can cope with him should an issue arise. He may actually enjoy spending his summer having fun instead of being pushed academically, have some downtime and give him a break.

This isn't about schooling and the matter has been left too late. If you are in fact the father go and find a daycare set up this late to the game that caters for his needs and pay for it if you aren't happy. Obviously the mother knows he will be comfortable all summer in an environment and with staff he knows and no doubt children he knows.

Perhaps ask your son too what he would want.