Contact with children

[BabyHugg]

My ex has our 3 children every other weekend and half the school holidays this has been the agreement for about 18 months. About 2 months ago he and our eldest who is 15 asked me for extra time together and I reluctantly agreed to let him have him from the Thursday to Sunday of his weekends meaning that the youngest 2 join them on the Saturday morning until the Sunday night when I get them all back. This week I have found out that my ex has let my parents (who I am estranged from) have our son for his extra 2 days a fortnight and not spent that time with him anyway. I feel like I gave up some of my precious time for them to bond and they haven’t spent it together anyway. Can my ex do this? We have no court orders in place.

Your kid is 15 - it's up to them whether they want a relationship with their grandparents. Clearly they do so your ex has facilitated it, presumably knowing you wouldn't given your estrangement. Listen to your child. If you consider the GP a danger for some reason explain why your dc must take care when with them.

It was shitty of your ex to deceive you like this, but a worry that your eldest felt that was needed. Are you perhaps a bit restrictive of him?

You need to loosen your grip. You come across as quite controlling. Ask your ds if he wants contact with his dgp and if so, that's his choice. Just because you're NC, it doesn't mean that everyone should be.

At that age, unless there are serious and well founded safeguarding concerns, your child should be able to choose which members of the family he's seeing.

Don't forget that in three or so years he will likely be moving out and going off to university; he's not that far away from adulthood.

I agree with all the above responses.

(My place on the bench in the Court of Appeal awaits.)