Next of kin/POA?

[MarklahMarklah]

Sorry for the vague title.

I have a close friend who is estranged from their family. They have a number of health conditions, none of which are currently life-limiting or life-threatening. Of late, friend has been unwell and is due to go back for some more tests - the word 'anomaly' was mentioned, so friend is understandably concerned, as am I.

Friend lives alone, some 50 miles from me, so we maintain close contact by phone or social media.

My friend has asked if they can put me as 'next of kin' on hospital/doctor records etc. Has said that if they predecease me, they'd like me to deal with all the formalities (although we're hoping that all this will be a long way off).

Does my friend need to have a POA in place naming me, or is there something less formal that they can do? They have no desire to have their family involved in their current health scare situation or later in life, at the point of their death.

There are two issues: a Lasting Power of Attorney is what your friend would need to put in place to deal with Health & Welfare matters, including your being authorised in advance to consent or withhold consent to life sustaining treatment. She could also, if she wished, make a Lasting Power of Attorney for Property & Financial matters, dealing with all of her finances.

So the LPA(s) are the relevant documents while she's alive, but perhaps doesn't have capacity to make decisions in regards to those two key aspects.

She should also consider making a will, appointing you as one of her executors and trustees. The will would of course only take effect after her death.

Being next of kin can mean just being the person to contact in case of emergencies, any change in their medical condition or hospital discharging plans and having someone to call if the patient needs anything. They will also have to state under what circumstances you want to be called and at what time of day. She should also state what information she is happy for them to share with you. Regarding sorting out funeral plans it would be better to name you as executor in the Will and have her draw up an advance directive care plan if she would be happy to do this so that any future wishes around what care she receives or doesnt want to receive are in writing, this can be done with the GP I think but do Google it. Some people also make a funeral plan and pre pay for it which helps the person who is left planning it all. Do think carefully about how involved you want to be, having p.o.a. for health only kicks in when someone loses mental capacity, the financial one can start as soon as it's registered.

I understand that Funeral is already planned & paid for.
It looks as though next of kin is what we're looking at right now, but what do we say when people ask (as is their wont) "What is your relationship to X" - as we both understand that in normal parlance, 'next of kin' is a relative.
We can certainly get onto the will & LPA for later, although it is not the case that the friend does not have capacity - they are very capable - but sometimes are unable to communicate verbally for some periods of time (what would be called 'selective mutism' in times of stress) - and sometimes I'm not around to step in and do the speaking, so they want me to be able to be telephoned to discuss any issues in those sorts of circumstances.

I think LPA for health & welfare would be appropriate - she would be saying that she wants you to be the person to make decisions on her Behalf if she is not able to - including if she's not able to communicate her wishes.
She doesn't need to use a solicitor, you can do it yourself on the OPG website. There is a fee though. Really it's something we should all have in place.

That's the slight glitch here at the moment, chandlers - friend will not wish me to currently make decisions on their behalf. They are perfectly able to do so.
Health conditions include physical and mental, but are not life-limiting nor do they affect mental capacity.
Just that we had an issue this week where friend had undergone a very stressful time and had become unable to verbalise. As they had a medical appointment they wanted me to be listed as 'next of kin' in case the medical professional needed to convey any information or ask any questions.
As it was, the appointment passed without any major problems.

Can you adopt an adult? :)

'Next of kin' is not really a thing in the UK. It is really just used as your emergency contact.

If she wants you as next of kin, so who to contact if she is in hospital or in case of emergency, she would just need to let her GP/hospital etc know to contact you. If they ask your relation you can say what you like (e.g. friend, close friend, none of your business).

You would not have any say to do anything either whilst she is alive or if she dies and the doctors will not tell you anything about her medical care - you would literally just be the person to call if there is an emergency. The doctors would not speak to you unless they have consent from your friend (usually with her there).

If she wants you to have more of a formal role, so you can be involved in her medical care when the time comes you would need a Lasting Power of Attorney (the forms are on the gov.uk website). The health and welfare form only comes into play when your friend does not have capacity to make her own decisions (you have no say until she cannot so you cannot override her) even if you make it now.

LPAs have to be registered before they can be used, so she can always make one now and hold off doing anything with it for the time being if she wants.

Oh, and you can't officially adopt an adult .

With an lpa you make it in advance whilst you have capacity and then it comes into force when you lose capacity. It's a lot easier to set it up in advance, if you wait until the person loses capacity it is difficult, time consuming and more expensive

Thanks all.
I'll relay "next of kin" info to my friend as that was really the grey area.
I've dealt with LPA before, for relatives, so will broach this with my friend to see what they want to do. Friend is not a home owner, has no dependents, currently no debts, and funeral is already paid up.