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Legal matters

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Original poster

Child Arrangements Order

13 replies

RailroadedRoy · 27/04/2018 11:39

Named changed as I don’t want this linked to previous posts.

My Ex and I have a child arrangements order issued after a final court hearing. The arrangements specify term time contact and holiday contact.

My Ex and their solicitor are interpreting the order differently to me and my solicitor. My Ex has changed the contact anyway based on their interpretation and will not budge. This will mean the children will spend more time with my Ex and less with me.

I feel I am being railroaded to accept the changes. Doing so may also leave things open to change in the future when the order was supposed to provide stability and clarity going forward for both parents.

Would be grateful if anyone can suggest a way of having the wording of the court order clarified so we both know where we stand.

OP posts:

Alwayssearching · 27/04/2018 17:55

Could u possibly say what the CAO states and see what we think it means. We had a similar situation and we took dps ex back to court to get it more clarity (she was being a pain an bit like your ex by the sounds of it.) we were right. If u email the court they may call u back.. We did and didn't have to pay.

Awesomemum666 · 27/04/2018 20:56

I need some advice, I got divorced from my childrens father quite some years ago, we have a mutual agreement that he sees the children every 2 weeks on skype, he also has access over the school holidays we also alternate over the christmas so he doesnt miss out, I have never stopped him from seeing his children who are 11 and 7. When the arrangement was made it was just for him and his children, now his mother gets involved and my children feel pressured into talking while he just sits there and doesn't say a thing, I have to beg my children to take part, but they dont want to skype with her every 2 weeks they just want to speak to their dad, they said they want to speak to her every month, but every time I mention this to him as I have concerns that he isnt interacting with them as much as he should he turns verbally aggressive and threatening, he keeps saying Im stopping him from seeing his children. He also will not see his children without her being there I have offered to pay his train fare and also pay for a b and b near me so he can spend more time with his children, which he refuses. Am I being unreasonable by making a request for just him to speak to his children on his own and have his mother involved once a month.

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 27/04/2018 21:57

Awesomemum666 - you need to start your own thread.

Original poster

RailroadedRoy · 27/04/2018 22:35

Sorry not back straight away - work and children to sort!

The court order is worded as follows:

Term time arrangements which start on the first day of term and stop on the last day of each term -
The NRP shall have the children [specified week day date] and fortnightly thereafter, and
on alternate weekends from [specified weekend date] and alternate weekends thereafter

Then holiday arrangements are specified, but these are not in dispute. The issue is how the term time arrangements start again after the holidays.

Any interpretations of this welcome please!

Alwayssearching - did you just email the court and ask them to clarify the wording, or was there a form to fill in? (there always seems to be forms to fill in!)

Awesomemum666 I don’t think anyone would think you unreasonable for encouraging your DC to have a better relationship with their father. Sounds like it’s falling on deaf ears though.

OP posts:

Awesomemum666 · 28/04/2018 08:37

Sorry didnt know how to, there wasnt an option to start a new one

SD1978 · 28/04/2018 08:44

What are they querying? The arrangement sounds like it’s 1weekday every fortnight , and every other weekend. What is there interpretation, and how much extra are they requesting? The current order sounds like three nights out of 14? How old are the children and what do they allegedly believe the order can be intrepretated as?

Original poster

RailroadedRoy · 28/04/2018 11:31

Sorry, didn’t mean to drip feed. It’s not the number of nights per fortnight being disputed, but how the arrangements start again after a school holiday.

I read it as term time contact continues after the holidays fortnightly as if the holidays had not happened.

They read it as the contact pattern starts again after each holiday, so the first weekend after the holiday is always with them. This means they get an extra weekend most term times, as most have an odd number of weeks.

Hope that all makes sense!

OP posts:

SD1978 · 28/04/2018 11:37

Obviously I don’t know your back story, but given that it’s an extra weekend, potentially, when you already have majority custody- does it really matter? Or is this all indicative of other issues you’re having. He has the kids 3 days a fortnight, and potentially an ‘extra’ weekend or 2. Is it worth the cost of court over?

Original poster

RailroadedRoy · 29/04/2018 09:32

Ok, but I’m actually the NRP.

OP posts:

SD1978 · 29/04/2018 12:33

Sorry- misread. The problem is it can be interpreted either way, I'd imagine. So from your perspective, if you don't have the last weekend before term splits up, you believe you should have the first weekend after school goes back, whereas RP believes that the first week back, you get the weekday visit, then the following weekend? Have you actually sat and counted out how many days this means you're theoretically loosing? If neither of you can agree to a compromise (and if you're loosing time, I can't blame you for not being willing to) then the only option would be to return to court and have it spelt out by the judge, your way or the RP way.

Starlight2345 · 29/04/2018 12:36

Over a couple of weekends the solicitors are making a lot of money

Original poster

RailroadedRoy · 29/04/2018 14:53

Thank you for your input, much appreciated.

I think the difference is 8 nights over a year. And I totally agree that the solicitors will be the winners if it goes back to court. I think the RP knows this too, so is just doing it their way knowing that it’s going to be hard for me to do anything about it.

OP posts:

SD1978 · 29/04/2018 23:31

As the non RP- I can understand why you are upset- 8 nights is a lot in an already small amount of time. Personally, I’d try one more letter- explaining that 8 nights is significant to our on already reduced contact, and if they wish to have it clarified, then a court date will have to be sent. If they don’t back down, take it to court. The cost with all this is usually more all the toing and froing with letters and counter offers. Take it early, get it clarified and the costs will be kept down at least a little.

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