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Legal matters

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Original poster

Ex taken son and gave himself full custody

38 replies

Singlemum23 · 25/04/2018 15:32

Hi i need help. My ex took my son and gave himself full custody and im trying to take this to court but i need a solicitor. Anyone know of pro bono solictors or any that would do a reduced rate? Im on a low income and trying to keep my 2 bed flat so my son can come home. But ive just herd hes looking for a 2 bed flat recently. And yes hes on the birth certificate, but theres no court order in place.

Any help will be appreciated, thanks

OP posts:

namechange2222 · 26/04/2018 07:34

Surely a lot will depend on whether your ex had grounds to remove and keep your son if he thought your son was at risk of harm?
In the main most people won't remove a child for absolutely no reason ( even if the reason is not valid)

fontofnoknowledge · 26/04/2018 18:47

You need to stop wringing your hands OP and get yourself to the family court tomorrow morning first thing and make an urgent application for delivery and residence. You also need a prohibitive steps order to stop him doing this again.
The cost of the court fees can be completely waived or reduced based on your income.
The threshold is quite high so chances are you won't need to pay at all.
Take your bank statements and proof of income (payslips, tax credit letter, child benefit ) with you.
It's quite possible to do this without a lawyer.. there are not really too many ways you can put what's happened .. just say it like it is.
The longer this goes on the more chance he gets if keeping him.

Is there any reason to provoke him in doing this ? Has there been neglect, violence, unsuitable partner or any form of abuse in your child's life ?

BrendasUmbrella · 26/04/2018 19:44

Do you have anyone who can help you - parent, sibling, friend?

Your ex has effectively kidnapped your son from the sounds of it, and I don't understand why the police would not have taken that seriously. Have you actually spoken to the police and told them that your ex took your son from you, or are you just accepting whatever he tells you?

worridmum · 27/04/2018 11:14

Its not kidnapping his own son no more so then the mother refusing to let the dad seeing the child is kidnapping so stop giving the OP bad advise it is NOT kidnapping and the police will treat it as a civil matter because it is. The OP needs to go to court asap to sort it out legally and ignore the poster saying she would run around there and start a fist fight as that is one of the fastest paths to becoming the NRP that only has contact in a contact centre.

BrendasUmbrella · 27/04/2018 13:39

He removed his child from his resident parent and his home and is now refusing to let the child's mother see him more than two hours a week while heavily supervised because they know she would try to take him back. That sounds reasonable to you?! And switching the genders doesn't work, sorry.

If a man was resident carer of his child who lived with him at home, and then his ex just took the child, and would not let him see the child unsupervised, that would not be ok either! It's down to a court to decide whether a parent needs to be supervised around their child or not.

Now it is possible that perhaps the father in this case feels he has legitimate reason for taking his son away from his mother, the Op hasn't given any background, but whatever is going on, she needs advice urgently.

2boysDad · 27/04/2018 14:25

DaisysStew and fontofnoknowledge have given you some excellent advice - you need to take it.

Please ignore those posters suggesting the police should intervene because you're the "resident parent" - they' wont.

Legally (and this is the legal board after all) the terms resident parent and non-resident parent no longer exist. And custody is even more obsolete - it was scrapped as a legal term in the 80s.

Basically you and your ex both have parental responsibility which means that either of you can look after your child. If you can't agree on how this works then the courts will decide for you using a 'Child Arrangements Order'. Without an arrangement order the police have nothing to work on.

So take the good advice you've been given and get to court ASAP - you can represent yourself. Most family court cases now have at least one parent who self-reps. The quicker you get to court, the quicker this will get sorted.

As a warning, the longer the situation is allowed to continue, the more likely it is that the courts will award the majority of care to the father. In family law, possession in 9/10ths of the law. Horrible but true.

Act NOW.

And good luck.

fontofnoknowledge · 28/04/2018 05:35

2boysDad is quite right. Please don't listen to those going on about kidnap and resident patents. It's all nonsense. As OP does not have a child arrangements order there are simply 2 parents with equal rights. There is no more issue with child being with father as with mother,

Get there to court with all the papers mentioned above and get an order,

PigeonStreet1 · 28/04/2018 05:56

Your ex has effectively kidnapped your son from the sounds of it, and I don't understand why the police would not have taken that seriously

Because they know the law and you clearly don't. Jesus, Brenda Your post is embarrassing. This is the legal matters board not AIBU

newdaylight · 28/04/2018 06:11

Your ex has effectively kidnapped your son from the sounds of it, and I don't understand why the police would not have taken that seriously

Dear me. What do you think they would do?
Also someone suggested ringing social services but OP has provided a absolutely no reason they would care either.

How old is the son OP and does he have an opinion where he wants to live?

PersianCatLady · 30/04/2018 18:35

As the father is on the BC the police will not get involved so please stop using the word "kidnap".

I really wish that registering a baby's birth with the mother didn't give unmarried fathers PR but if does.

DougFargo · 01/05/2018 12:20

just go and get him and bring him home.

PersianCatLady · 01/05/2018 12:48

just go and get him and bring him home
As the OP has already said, she can't do that.

catinapoolofsunshine · 01/05/2018 12:52

newday quick with the sneery "Dear me" but slow to actually read the rest of the very short thread properly. OP has already given the child's age as 4.

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