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How many times does someone have to breaks a Non Molestation order before they are charged

10 replies

Divorcequestions · 10/04/2018 06:16

Friend is going through a divorce. She has a non molestation order out on him which quite frankly might as well not exist.
It is a joke.
Her stbexh because of certain circumstances has many friends in the local police.

It seems to take the same path each time.

He tries to contact her either directly or through their DC or through other family members. She calls the police. They have a chat with him and say they have no idea what to charge him with. He does it again etc.

Friend is divorcing him because of domestic violence but stbexh says it is all in her head because he has never been charged with anything.

So far she has reported sexual abuse, emotional and financial abuse and domestic violence and the breaking of the non molestation order on numerous occasions. She has loads of evidence.
She managed to record the sexual assault but the police just say there is not enough evidence.

She feels now bullied by the police who when she calls feels like she is being laughed at and treated like a loony woman.

How do you get enough evidence to charge someone with breaking an order if in certain times he has texted which show he is breaking the order are not enough.let alone he has sent the children back with messages . Had family members knock on the door passing on messages asking her to lift the order

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TinWhistleTunes · 10/04/2018 10:39

My ex-husband was charged when he made contact in person, on the street and with our children present. Before that, he had called me numerous times and passed on messages through family members. The police spoke to him each time, but nothing was really achieved by that. When he was finally charged, he received a fine and was required to do about 200 hours of unpaid community work.

I'm sorry this is happening to your friend, the constant threat of contact is so unsettling. Has she talked to Women's Aid? They are no strangers to this kind of thing...

Ginorchoc · 10/04/2018 10:42

That doesn’t sound right, shouldn’t matter if he has friends in the service. If she has to call again she should ask to speak to the on call inspector and raise her concerns there in the first instance. If she is still not satisfied her concerns are met she can ask for the complaints procedure.

Divorcequestions · 10/04/2018 11:55

Because of certain circumstances he doesn't just have some friends in the station he knows them all.

She feels like the police are not on her side, her solicitor is beyond useless.

All this after getting out of an abusive relationship.
I went through her paperwork and made a list of the errors in the forms her solicitor has prepared.
Her solicitor shouts at her about the money she owes and how she wants the family house sold immediately to pay her on going bill.

I have other threads in AIBU and Divorce sections.

The whole thing is a mess.

I have asked about differen

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Divorcequestions · 11/04/2018 03:01

And
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/divorce_separation/3212424-When-you-feel-everyone-is-working-against-you

Should give an idea about what is going on

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Mamaryllis · 11/04/2018 03:10

Huh. My friend spent 26 hours in a cell when she called her ex. They arrested her at work, cuffed her, and drove her off in the car. She’s out on bail for three months but has been told as long as she doesn’t break the order again in the interim then the charges are likely to be dropped when she appears in court.

Redglitter · 11/04/2018 03:11

It doesn't matter how many friends he has or if he's a cop himself he can't use that as a tool against her. If she feels this is why her complaints aren't taken seriously then she needs to make a formal complaint about it. Initially as a PP said via the local Inspector and if that doesn't work then she needs to escalate it. There are definite procedures in place for complaints and it won't make any difference how many friends he has.

Divorcequestions · 11/04/2018 03:18

I have spent all day today and yesterday putting together her file.

She received a huge bundle from the solicitor last Friday.

It has been a mammoth task disputing and getting the evidence together to prove what occurred.
The blatant disregard for the injunction was apparently not pursued for reasons that just didn't make sense.
Even the solicitors Maths leave something to be desired

I kid you not

£81000+ £75000= £117000

Solicitor now on holiday... Again....

Friend has her first court hearing next week (postponed from end of last year as stbexh hadn't filled his Form E in)

Has anyone had any experience of the first hearing as friend is worried and has no idea what will happen.

She has a Barrister who is representing her but is still very nervous of getting confused if she is asked a question by the judge.

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Divorcequestions · 11/04/2018 03:21

Stbexh has still left questions unanswered on his form E and is saying he will let the court know his answers on the day.

I didn't think he could do that but nothing surprises me

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StopPOP · 14/04/2018 16:58

Ye Gads what kind of solicitor is that?? And please don't tell me those kind of figures are fees?? Shock

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