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Legal matters

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When should someone be told if they are a beneficiary in a Will?

15 replies

BobbyG56 · 30/03/2018 15:43

Hi
Both my parents recently died. My father on Christmas Day and my mother on 17th January.
I have no Aunts or Uncles , cousins etc. Both my parents were only children. I have one sister ( younger) who is joint executor with her husband.
It has been my sisters life’s work to exclude me from my family, aided and abetted by my mother, who doted on my sister.
Fortunately my father was kinder and more inclined to accept me as being an actual part of the family so rightly or wrongly I persevered with staying in contact and as they grew older assisting them as much as possible and visiting once a week etc, bearing in mind I lived over 50 miles away and my sister on 12 miles.
Anyway during and after their deaths of which thanks to my sister I was completely excluded, I have heard nothing from anybody. I have learned through local friends that my sister and husband have cleared the house and it’s up for sale. There has been no communication to inform me whether or not any part of my family have been mentioned in any capacity on the will and I presume any evidence of me, my husband or children in terms of photos, keepsakes etc have binned or destroyed.
In short I have nothing to remind me of either parent or indeed my existence of being a part of their family. That hurts, even at the age of 62.
Am I being really stupid or super sensitive to expect that whatever the outcome I should be informed by someone at sometime?
My sister certainly won’t communicate with me. She never has. So how will I know?
I do not expect to have been left anything really, not if my sister and mother could help it, but I would like to know if I was even mentioned in the will just as evidence that I actually did exist as a family member, beneficiary or not. At least it might give a reason why they may have excluded me etc. It all very sad really.

OP posts:
Schlimbesserung · 30/03/2018 15:48

I think you can get a copy of any will that has been through probate. What you do with that information is another thing.
There is information here
www.gov.uk/search-will-probate
but please don't go into this without support. There are no "wins" for you here. Either you were due a legacy but your sister is trying to keep it from you, or your father left everything to your mother and she left it all to your sister. Both of these are really tough to deal with.

You aren't being at all unreasonable. Do you have a partner or other relative (child, or in-law) who could contact your sister to ask for some sort of memento?

BettyBaggins · 30/03/2018 15:51

I think the rule is a will can become public after probate. Here is a link. Am sure someone wiser along soon.

probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills

yummyeclair · 30/03/2018 15:53

Very helpful.

bimbobaggins · 30/03/2018 17:03

I think that as relations are already strained I would go straight to a solicitor and get a letter out asking for a copy of the will and executory accounts. Show them you won’t be messed around with.

NoSquirrels · 30/03/2018 17:07

As PPs have said, once the will goes through probate you can download a copy. It takes a few months after a death.

As another PP mentioned, as your dad died second, he may have left everything to his wife (and if he hadn’t made a will at all that’s what will have happened).

I think I might go with the suggestion of having a solicitor write a formal letter.

Flowers it’s very tough.

notapizzaeater · 30/03/2018 17:08

I agree, get a solicitors letter - you've nothing to loose if your relationship is that bad.

BettyBaggins · 30/03/2018 19:01

@bilbo.... ?

Sorry for derail Grin

BettyBaggins · 30/03/2018 19:01

@bimbobaggins ! Waves

Further apologies

DontbeaDickaboutit · 30/03/2018 19:08

I'm so sorry, I have no advice but I just wanted to say I'm incredibly sorry for your loss and the way you are being treated by your sister.

bimbobaggins · 30/03/2018 19:10

Waves back to bettybaggins

I’m not any wiser, but I have been through a similar situation recently and know how death and money brings out the worst in people. Greed takes over. Please get a solicitor.

HollowTalk · 30/03/2018 19:10

Do you think your mother left a Will? Was she well enough for that?

You should be able to find out now if your father left a Will - I would think that would be available online now.

LostMyBaubles · 30/03/2018 19:18

Really sorry to derail.
Op hope you get some answers soon

A relative of mine has recently passed away (less than a year)
The executor of the Will has said everything was left to her and her youngest.
Ive seen the Will and it does mention me (not by name by relation)
How do I go about this?

LostMyBaubles · 30/03/2018 19:45

Sorry, forgot to mention. This relative was very into charity and I wanted to use my share to carry on and do something with my share in there name

Schlimbesserung · 30/03/2018 20:04

I've just remembered that when I was 14, I had to spend every 3rd and 9th term-time weekend with my grandmother and for about a year she made me listen to chapter and verse of her will.

My dad was to get the house (because he paid for it), my cousins were to get various emerald/ruby/diamond jewellery, my sisters would get antiques and ornaments and I would get a book. Not even an old or rare book, just a book. She would bore on for hours about it and I could have told you who the executor was, who got the Hummel ornament on the landing windowsill, what was to be done with the cat, the bloody works.

I was furious that when she died there was no sign of a will. It wouldn't have mattered in a legal sense because most of the things in it were either sold or given away long before then, but my dad was really nasty about it when I said that she had made a will and accused me of telling lies so I could grab her estate for myself. I still don't know if she never actually made the will, or it became irrelevant and she destroyed it. I don't care really, I just want proof that I didn't invent so many hours of listening to her run through the inventory of all her earthly possessions!

Schlimbesserung · 30/03/2018 20:06

LostMyBaubles It sounds like you need some sort of proper legal help to sort this out, don't try to do it on your own.

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