Hi, I am new and have never posted to a site before, but I could really do with some advice!
So I will try and keep this brief. My ex husband was arrested due to the domestic abuse and there was not enough evidence for him to be charged. Since we split up, he made myself and our daughter homeless and really hasn't bothered with her at all. He made no effort to see his daughter or have arrangements put in place to see her. (He wasn't allowed to contact me while he was on bail, but his solicitor could have, or he could have contacted my friends as he did when he wanted his xbox).
I have relocated abroad and have a child arrangement order in place. It stated he will come and see her once a quarter and will skype her once every 2 weeks. There's also points in the order that he won't say anything bad about me, our daughter won't see his mothers side of the family (due to a history of child sexual assault, not with my daughter but with another family member).
So basically, he's not come to see his daughter once as mentioned in the court order...he should have come in December and also March...he's due in June and haven't heard anything. He's been sticking to the Skype calls, but missed one 2 weeks ago. I emailed him about it and he said he was busy cooking and I was not fair that I couldn't just make the call when he was free (I work full time and can't just wait for him when he is free to call...they are arranged for a specific time and I work my schedule around these calls). On the Skype calls, he's been bringing in other people, such as his friends and their baby (who my daughter doesn't know and has never met them!). He mentioned his mother in one of the calls and another call he said that I wouldn't let him speak to our daughter on Christmas Day (he wasn't due a call Christmas Day and we were away and had no internet, so an extra call wasn't possible). Last night he put his father on who my daughter doesn't remember as she last saw him 2 years ago and she's only 4 now. Although I don't have a problem with this as such, I feel it's a bit much to spring it on her as a surprise and I also don't like the fact that they're kind of invading my personal space, albeit virtually, especially what my ex and his family have done to me...although I am aware I have to be with my daughter for these calls to encourage her to speak with her father.
He also said that if our daughter needs anything, to let him know...as he didn't buy her any presents for her birthday or Christmas, I asked him for a contribution for some new clothes for her...he just ignored the message. He's also paid his maintenance late and only pays when I message him to ask him for it.
Why I'm asking for advice is because he's not making an effort with her whatsoever. He asks the same questions and doesn't actually know her at all. I am also very worried that this is confusing for my daughter as she speaks with him but never seems him...although I am not sure he's broken the order as such, he's certainly not doing everything which was agreed and I feel he's playing games...can someone please give me some advice?
Thank you 