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ExH holding up remortgage

8 replies

AndHarry · 26/03/2018 10:45

I am very upset so please be kind. I divorced ExH 2 years ago. As part of the divorce, I bought him out of the house, but had to accept a charge of £5k, to be paid either when I sell the house or when our youngest child turns 18 (nowhere near that). This was signed off in a court order.

The fixed-term mortgage has come to an end but I can’t get a new fixed-term mortgage because ExH is refusing to sign a deed of postponement (required document saying that he accepts he isn’t getting the £5k now and the charge will be transferred to the new title deed with the new mortgage provider on it). He sent me an email this morning saying that he wants the £5k now (not an option, I simply don’t have it), or he will only sign the deed of postponement on the condition that I agree on writing to be ‘more reasonable’ about his contact with the DC.

His version of ‘more reasonable’ is that he is allowed to renege on any arrangements he has agreed to re. contact, at any time, and must be allowed contact at any other time he chooses. Any variation on me doing exactly what he says is, according to him, unreasonable. For the record, he has the children every other weekend and has set phone times twice a week. He used to have more contact but that has dried up, at his own request.

I know this isn’t AIBU, but AIBU to:

  • think this is blackmail;
  • instruct my solicitor to ask the court to enforce their order;
  • tell him to fuck right off.
OP posts:
GoJetterGirl · 26/03/2018 11:23

It's court orders that he will get the 5K when the conditions of the order are met, not when he demands it... he is being a twat waffle! I'd go back to the solicitor who will hopefully light a rocket under his arse... good luck OP...

GoJetterGirl · 26/03/2018 11:24

And yes, I'd tell him to fuck off, but maybe wait until the matter has returned to court... keep the moral high ground...

AndHarry · 26/03/2018 12:26

I told him I was instructing my solicitor today and he’s crapped himself and sent two emails to me and my solicitor telling me he’s signing and returning the deed of postponement today. Also taking the opportunity to berate me for my unreasonableness, the poor lamb.

I’m still going to see my solicitor and get her advice on whether I should go to court to stop him messing me around with contact.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 26/03/2018 13:50

Can you really not raise the extra £5K on mortgage just to never have to do this again with him?

I know you don't have to, but clearly the man's a horror to deal with.

Not a lot can be done by the Court to make him more sensible about contact, I fear. I doubt going to court will help you, and it gives him an opportunity for even more nonsense. I would advise against. Strongly.

AndHarry · 26/03/2018 14:19

I don’t think it would help, really. Every few weeks he comes up with another set of demands and makes my life hell, then he goes away again. This is just the latest in a long string of crap.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 26/03/2018 15:49

I just meant it would stop him being able to jerk you around on remortgages.

AndHarry · 26/03/2018 16:29

This is true. He doesn’t deserve £5k though Grin and I don’t have it

OP posts:
justdontknow45 · 26/03/2018 17:06

Wow!
Blackmail!
That's shocking! Get a solicitor and send him the fucking 5k in 5 pence pieces on the 18th Birthday 😂

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