Ex telling CSA that he is the main carer!!

[Nanny67]

Please help! My ex has been paying CM for 14 years (girls are now 16 & 17) but since being remarried he has now stopped paying. I started a case with the CMS and they have assessed him at £424 a month (he was only paying £150 anyway). He has called them and said he is the main carer (he's not - they have lived with me for 14 years! and their school is in my catchment along with Doctor etc). Anyway for the last year we have had an arrangement where they are with him 4 nights one week then 3 the next, so basically shared care. He feels that he shouldn't have to pay anything. In reality I probably have them 55% of the time, taking into consideration the extra nights I have them when he has a meeting or goes away with work or goes on holiday with the wife etc etc.

He's rung the CMS and told them he has them 75% of the time!! He has written me a massive email saying that if I don't ring the CMS and cancel the case then he will apply for a mandatory consideration and then if necessary go to court and get access agreed at 4 nights a week. He has said that his car tracker goes back 3 years which proves he has been to my house/taken them to school the next day and that he will get statement of truth from friends and family to say he is the primary carer. He said he will make sure that I no longer can claim child benefit/tax credits for them.

It is me that picks them up from school, it is me that takes them to the doctor, hospital etc. And for the month of March alone I've had them 20 nights already.

Can anyone help? BTW i've been unable to work for 3 years as I suffered a serious brain injury. Up until this point I was a social worker and I paid for holiday club etc etc when i had to because he would never take time off!

I am not suggesting you follow this advice and I'm not even sure if it would work but, don't cancel it, your kids will be over 18 soon and if they aren't in full time education the money will stop soon. Carry on with the claim and let him do a mandatory consideration- it will take months for that to happen and then in theory by the time of the outcome of the MC your kids will be adults. Like I said this is purely my own thoughts and I'm not suggesting you to do this.

He has 50 / 50 contact so shouldn't be paying.

Thank you abeautifulmess, I think you're right. I've printed off the email with the blackmail/threats and am going to post it to them - the CMS said I have nothing to worry about. And itsallabitstrange - it's not 50/50, its 55/45 however I have probably 90% of the 'day to day care' which is what the CMS look at too - ie hospital/doctor/school appointments etc

As long as it's more than 50% you have them you should be OK. But be prepared for him not to hand them back to you if he's away at a meeting. If he can prove strict 50/50 then there's nothing to pay either way.

I can’t abide men who try and avoid paying for their children but if you have them 4 nights one week and he has them 4 nights the next, surely it’s 50-50 care.

You mention you have to cover when he has meetings or has holidays. How many nights a month is this on average?

If the standard current arrangement is 50:50, then no maintenance is payable- why on earth would it be? You can't really expect to get nearly £500 a month on the basis that occasionally he goes away with work/with his wife! If you don't want to have your children while he's away, surely at 16 & 17 they are quite capable of staying home alone!

Per month I have them 16-20 nights out of 31. For the month of March it's been 20.

It’s clear your dependent on the money but if I were him, I would just make it a strict 50-50 and stop relying on you for care when he’s out of town and then not pay anything.

Have you been honest with the CMS about how much time they spend there? If so you're golden just politely refer him to them .

I'm not reliant on the money because I haven't had any!!! The CMS have assessed him which is why he has kicked off!!