Court date next week - DD usually goes to her Dad on that day but he has to be in court

[Falulah]

DD's Dad has said he should still have her for the normal times next week even when we both have to be in court for the next hearing (He is taking me to court for CAO)
He doesn't have any childcare here so I asked him if he had arranged for her to have an extra day at nursery. He said he has made provisions for the few hours he will be in court but wouldn't tell me what. He just said I have to stick to the interim order which is that she sees her Father these times on a Weds.
But she won't be seeing him she'll be with someone else and he won't tell me who or where so I feel I don't want to send her for contact (again not sure how he will even have time to go and take her anywhere considering we have to be in court at 10am)
I had already made arrangements for my parents to have her that day as they did for the FHDRA. Now he has the interim order (that the status quo was to remain until Cafcass could do their Section 7) he is using that... But do I have to send her to him not knowing who is looking after her for the time he's in court?

But do I have to send her to him not knowing who is looking after her for the time he's in court?

Yes of course you do! It’s not your business who looks after her during his contact time. Just like he doesn’t get to decide who you get to look after her during your time. It’s is business and he says he has arranged childcare. Send her as ordered by the court.

Yes you have to send her. He probably resents you questioning him about the arrangements. Would you take kindly to him questioning you about your arrangements?

He has.. he has questioned me on a weekly basis and controlled me using emotional blackmail and threats of litigation for years. He was physically, verbally & psychologically abusive to me & DD. He’s using the courts to continue this abuse as I became independent & after therapy I put healthy boundaries in place.

I understand the order says she is to be with him in those times, but he won’t be there.
There was also an undertaking in the court order that he not talk disparagingly about me to DD but he has broken that, as has his Mum as DD has come back from contact on many occasions saying that they have said various things and being very upset about it.
I am concerned that he is getting his Mum to look after DD whilst he’s in court, who openly does this to DD & has said in the past that she hopes her other daughter-in-law would die.. she’s not a stable person being a constant cannabis smoker as well & I am worried what she will say or do if she is on her own with DD. I do not feel she’s safe to look after her. Hence why I asked him if he’d arranged extra hours at nursery.

Nevertheless, it really isn't going to do you any good at Court to be literally in breach whilst you stand there accusing him of breach.

I agree with others. You have to stick to the interim order...and just let this go. Good luck in court!

Agree with Collaborate and Mrs Bert as usual.

Those are all issues you bring up in court To be taken into account for the permanent order. That’s how it works. You can’t just decide you don’t want her to go to him. You have to go to court and have the order amended.

I think you may be confusing 'go to him'. As far as I understand the CAO wording. This means 'go to his care' and when not with him, then she will be in your care.
The parent with the court ordered care at that time then makes the decisions in the best interest of the child. Otherwise you would have to get his permission for your DD to be cared for by others every time you believed it appropriate. Every babysitter, every stay with granny and grandpa.. nightmare.
I may be wrong and happy to be put right by the experts in family law - but I understood, on 'your time' you make the day to day decisions' and vice versa.

Thanks for your responses, the order says “will have contact with her father 9am -6pm” on that specific day which the court hearing happens to fall on.
I always remember them asking me if that was alright timing and would I be able to get childcare sorted for that Weds. I said yes.
That’s why I am now confused when he’s saying he should have her dropped off to him when he has to be in court at 10am and who knows how long court will take... and it says have contact with the father not “be in his care” but maybe that is implied.
I understand that it’s up to him who he gets to look after her. But I guess I’ll double check with my solicitor.

Right, wrong, or somewhere in between, the fact is that it would be a huge own goal if you are in breach at the very moment you go to court. It will make it very hard for the court to take seriously whatever line of arguement you want to make.
So if you want to destroy your own case, go right ahead.

Yes you're right DancingLedge.... yes that's true. Ok I shall just send her.

You need to properly understand that its his business what childcare he uses during his contact time. Let him parent.

TheSaviors .... I’m not sure why you think it’s an easy thing to do just hand your child to an abusive/negligent parent who doesn’t think he needs to do her car seat straps up and leaves her alone sitting ontop of a car roof. Not to mention verbal and physical abuse. She’s 3. Great parenting.

If he's abusive why haven't you gone to court to get supervised or limited access?