Ex has accused me of child abuse and requested full custody

[Busybusybee1]

In November I informed my ex (who has contact every fortnight sometimes going two months without seeing our son) that I was moving to live nearer my family for family support and a better life for our son. He seemed to accept this but a week before I was due to leave, I received a phone call asking me to go into court for a prohibited steps hearing! I declined as I knew nothing about it. Eventually I got his application. He had applied for a prohibited steps order and a residence order stating I was emotionally abusive, did not take any interest in my sons schooling, did not take care of our sons personal care and I had a family member with learning disabilities who had meltdowns and could potentially harm our son.

On the day of the prohibited steps order hearing I had already moved and our Son had started school so I was worried I would be asked to return to where I had been previously.

On the day my ex's solicitor made a whole list of allegations none of which had an evidence. The judge decided within 5 mins to make no order and asked if I wanted costs reversed which I said I did.

CAFCASS did their initial safeguarding enquiries and found that neither my ex or any professionals had expressed any concerns to social services, it looks like our son is not at any risk in my care. However their checks showed some police involvement on my ex's part that meant carcass have ordered no contact at all until they investigate further. They also stated that on one occasion he refused to return our son and they believed me when I informed them that my ex had told our son he wouldn't be returning to my care (it's true). They said this would cause emotional distress to our son.

A guardian was appointed but so far she has no completed her position statement and it was due in today (she's not even see our son). A court appearance was due tomorrow and she was due to complete a position statement for that.

I did instruct a barrister but simply can't afford to any more so I shall be a litigant in person while my ex had a barrister paid for by his parents.

The barrister I did have said I have nothing to worry about. All evidence so far points to me being a capable mother and there would need to be serious safeguarding concerns to change residency. The fact the judge has not asked me to return from my hometown or made an interim residence order shows the court does not consider my ex's case to be strong. In fact he has shot himself in the foot because it is him they are more concerned about.

I've been told this by all legal professionals but I am so distressed with sorry that our son will be removed from my care and my ex get residency.He is planning to say my parents are too old to live with (they're 60), they're extreme Catholic and again 're-iterate that I'm emotionally abusive. It's so upsetting as none of those allegations are in any way true. Our sons school have done nothing but praise our son and my ex puts him down inorder to prove I'm a bad mum that is emotionally affecting him.

I'm really rambled I know but I'm so scared. Will the courts change residence? My son would be devastated if he was separated from me and no decent father would even want that

I had offered to take our son to him every other weekend to facilitate cpntact . My ex lived 45 mins away from where we were anyway.

It is my belief that my ex doesn't want me to move somewhere I will be happy and have support as he wants to control me.

To be brutally honest - you need a barrister. If your ex has one, you will be disadvantaged by not having one, especially when you need to pick his arguments apart. It’s a bit late now but very junior family barristers don’t cost the earth. It’s absolutely worth it! You no doubt have strong claims but not being represented is a worry. Has the guardian got one? They should be advocating for your child but you need representation too.

Disagree with BubblesBuddy. You don't need a barrister. This is very straightforward. There are no realistic concerns about your parenting. There are concerns about his if CAFCASS have told you to stop contact. Parents put in all kinds of allegations when fighting over children. The courts won't accept allegations unless there is evidence. On the information you have posted there is no realistic chance of the courts ordering that your son should live with your ex.

Of course, your legal advisers were far better placed to advise you than anonymous posters on the internet. Your barrister advised you that you don't have anything to worry about. I see no reason to disagree.

You don’t need a barrister, no one can fight for your child more than you can.
Just plan, bullet point and try and see it from both sides so you are prepared for anything that may come up.
All the paperwork will be given to your ex’s side to do, and they will be expected to write up orders. So stay after the hearing and DEMAND to see it before it is handed it. Wording is everything and can make a huge difference. You can question it and they have to explain what they’ve written.

I agree you need a barrister these hearings are complicated you need someone who knows what they are doing

You don't need a barrister. I have just self repped through this myself. OP I posted on your other thread where there was a lot of reassurance. Please don't worry.

The judge will be easier on you too if you aren’t represented.

I self represented today and it went really well. So proud of myself. My son has his own solicitor who stated the concerns raised weren't strong enough to consider changing residency.

C afcas Recommended No Contact But our sons Solicitor Didnt think That was In my sons best interest and it was decided he would have supervised contact every other weekend for a few hours.

He has to now complete an applicant statement and a bundle of evidence. I'm worried about what will be produced even though I know I'm a good mum and the logical me knows there couldn't be anything.

So the case is far from over. However I feel confident now that he won't get residency as it's not in my sons best interest.

Huge congratulations OP, well done! It's no easy thing to self-rep but you've done it. I've walked this mile (still am) so I know how stressful it is. He was never going to get residency so fear not! Keep the thread updated won't you? Good luck