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Original poster

Ex denying access to kids bank accounts

30 replies

JLbaby · 26/02/2018 13:17

Just after a bit of advice, when dds (3 and 5) were born H and I opened savings accounts for them and we/family have been paying in ever since. We divorced last year and he is the ‘controlling adult’ on both accounts. He is now denying me access to either account so I can’t pay in/or access either account. He’s told me I have to open my own accounts for them so I can access them but won’t transfer/split any of the money from the original accounts (so essentially have to start from zero again).

Is there anything I can do about this? There is quite a bit of money in each account.

OP posts:
Wetwashing00 · 26/02/2018 14:08

Cut your losses!
Set up your own accounts for them and tell your family/friends there are new accounts for the kids.

Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 14:11

I do plan on setting up my own accounts for them but sure!y there is something I can do? Like i said there is quite a bit of money in those accounts and I'm annoyed as it was my family that paid most of it in for them! So they will be losing out at the end of the day.

OP posts:
Wetwashing00 · 26/02/2018 14:17

Losing out? So you suspect he’s spending it?

Viviennemary · 26/02/2018 14:17

This is infuriating. But legally I don't think there is very much you can do. It's more or less the equivalent of handing over money to somebody and the person puts in in their own name. You can't get it back. Certainly don't have another penny paid in. Don't think I'd be very co-operative with ex in future if he's done this when it's your family who has put the money in.

Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 14:20

It is infuriating. I’ve told my family to stop their direct debits into the girls accounts which they have done.

Wetwashing - it Wouldn’t surprise me if he was spending it. He won’t even show me the bank statements.

OP posts:
Wetwashing00 · 26/02/2018 14:27

In that case I wouldn’t bother trying to get access. But I personally wouldn’t forget about it...if you find in the future he wants to ‘go halves’ for expensive gifts I would suggest he use the money in the accounts.
If your name isn’t on the accounts then I doubt there is anything you can do, it is infuriating but luckily the kids are young enough that you can build up a new one for them.

Viviennemary · 26/02/2018 14:29

I think I'd ask each member of your family who has paid money into these accounts to write to your ex and complain about his disgraceful behaviour.

sleepingdragon · 26/02/2018 14:35

What type of accounts are they? Some childrens accounts you can't take any money out of- my son has a childrens ISA that is like this, all the mobey is in there till he is d enough to get it out himself at 18+

Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 14:38

Unfortunately they aren’t ISA’s and you can withdraw money on them if you want.

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BiddyPop · 26/02/2018 14:41

Is it worth trying to get a check on those accounts as part of any financial disclosure process in due course? Just to make sure that they haven't been raided and also ensure that the amounts there are taken into account whenever any reckoning is being done?

Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 14:43

What do you mean biddypop? The divorce came through last year so the financial disclosure process was done well before then.

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BiddyPop · 26/02/2018 14:44

Oops, sorry, I missed that part. Ignore me - but listen to others who are suggesting remembering it when expensive things are needed for the girls and ExH suggests going halves.

kath6144 · 26/02/2018 15:50

How old are the kids?

Is it worth an email from you or them, asking for regular statements/bank book copies each year until they are 18.

Point out that when they are 18, they will be asking him for the money, so he will then have to explain to his own children why he is withholding their savings and/or has spent them.

If he wants a relationship with them, it may make him him twice about emptying the accounts, as he will realise that his kids will one day be adults and will not be impressed if dad has spent all their money.

Failing that, maybe a solicitors letter to him, again pointing out that the money is the childrens and they will expect it at 18.

A lesson to all parents - put both parents names on the accounts, or open ISAs that no one can access until 18.

kath6144 · 26/02/2018 15:53

Also, many accounts allow the Children to sign themselves from quite young (I think ours was 7, Britannia BS), so maybe check the rules of the account if you know which it is, and make enquiries about the kids signing themselves.

Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 15:56

Kath - they are 3 and 5.

Unfortunately only one adult can be named on the kids account for this particular account. I’ve asked for statements and he won’t give me them/show me them.

OP posts:
Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 15:57

They can access the account from age 16 so we have a while to go yet!

OP posts:
kath6144 · 26/02/2018 15:57

Oops, just re read Op and seen they are only 3 and 5.

I still think a letter or email pointing out its their money is the best way.

Keep a copy for the children to have when older, as proof you tried to access the accounts. That way he cant deny that he was asked about the money when they are 18.

GreenySho · 26/02/2018 16:00

Slightly off topic but I know a dad who convinced his 12 year old son to sign 10k of his money over to him for his “new business”

Kid never saw any of that money again and is completely non contact now. Dad moans that the kids mum turning him against him Hmm

pallisers · 26/02/2018 16:00

I'd be inclined to send a letter to the bank explaining the situation and asking notice of any activity on the accounts to be sent to your children c/o your address.

In the book Dolores Claiburne, didn't she decide to kill her husband when he switched money out of the children's accounts ....

Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 16:01

Greeny - that’s awful, poor child!

OP posts:
Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 16:02

Pallisers - they wouldn’t do that unfortunately as I’m not named on the account. They wouldn’t even let me pay anything in!!

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AdoraBell · 26/02/2018 16:03

Agree with kath6144, but I would also tell the DC that Daddy has their savings in the bank, because I’m a bit bolshie.

kath6144 · 26/02/2018 16:04

Cross post.

Then maybe go with a solicitors letter. It probably wont get you any further at this point in time, but the kids can approach him at 16 and ask for the money, and he cant deny that he had the accounts and was asked for access if there is a solicitors letter as proof!!!!

No idea if they would have any come-back if he spends it all, but at least they will know that he has spent it, and can judge him themselves.

Or suggest he transfers it to ISAs in kids names, as proof he intends to keep the money for them and not use it himself. If he refuses to do that, then it is likely he doesn't intend to keep it for them.

pallisers · 26/02/2018 16:05

Pallisers - they wouldn’t do that unfortunately as I’m not named on the account. They wouldn’t even let me pay anything in!!

Don't pay anything in! Even if he leaves the money alone, he'll be the one handing it over to the kids as if he saved every penny of it himself for them.

I undertand the bank won't notify you, OP, but I wonder would they notify your children as account-holders?

Original poster
JLbaby · 26/02/2018 16:10

No unfortunately as they will only write to the ‘controlling adult’ ie him!! It’s so frustrating. My family are furious. I think I’m just going to have to get my solicitor involved again, something I wanted to avoid.

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