Waited 2 years for a court date, now I can't tell anyone

[Couldhavewouldhaveshouldhave]

Hi, not sure what I'm asking really.

I've waited 2 years since leaving abuse ex p to get a court date to get our house on the market. I feel like I've talked about nothing else. Heard yesterday that the court date is next week and I've gone into a state of panic, can't tell anyone, feel sick, want to run away.

My solicitor assured me that I cannot possibly lose, but what if I lose? The house needs to be sold, ex P doesn't want to sell it but isn't able to raise funds to buy my share.

We weren't married and the title states we are tenants in common so 50:50 regardless. There is nearly £70k equity in the house when sold but ex P feels that I should not be entitled to more than £2k for inexplicable reasons.

Is it natural to feel so apprehensive about going to court? I know I will have to be in the same room as ex P and I'm not even sure it's that that is making me want to run for the hills. I'm frightened of the judge not understanding the whole story and I'm frightened of not understanding what is being said. My solicitor is brilliant but what if his is more brilliant?

I've not told a soul about the court date because I don't want to face it yet and I don't want my family to feel anxious about it.

How do you calm yourself down enough to look respectable in court? Any tips on stealth deep breathing exercises?

I may need to invest in a twin sister immediately.

PS, I've name changed - my sister is on here somewhere!

Surely it is a straight forward matter? It is owned 50/50. If he is idiot enough to force it to this point he is just a dick.
What happens if he doesnt turn up?

Thanks for replying.

I hadn't considered that he might not turn up, that is a distinct possibility. I guess the judge will order that it goes on the market and the equity gets split equally.

He claims that I owe him for the possessions I removed from the property (he refused me access and would not agree to a date I could collect my things so my solicitor told me to go and get my belongings, which I did) and that I damaged the property (I didn't!). He also wants half of the mortgage payments back for the last 2 years (I was paying the mortgage single handedly for 6 months because he walked out of his job).

I just want the house sold, he's been stalling for so long saying he'll buy me out but never actually does anything about it (possibly because there's no chance on earth that he can afford it).

It'll be a miracle if I don't have a heart attack before next week.

I think you need to take a friend or relative to the court with you, to support you and reduce your anxiety, support you with having to face Ex in person. Maybe this is your sister, but whichever way, I think you should ask someone now.

Don't keep this a secret from your family - there is no shame or reason to keep it secret.

I was putting my make-up on just now and thinking back to a time when I had to go to court about my house (ex hadn't paid the mortgage, hadn't told me until the building society started repossession proceedings). Then I saw your post. I too was so scared - and my coping strategy was to look the best I could, so outwardly at least, I looked confident. Waterproof mascara, polished shoes and 'walk tall'. When I felt stressed and anxious, I found breathing in for a count of 7 and out for a count of 10 slowed me down (and the counting helped me focus too). Best wishes for your day in court.

He's been stalling for so long. Accused me of all sorts and ignored many solicitors letters.

I applied to court in December as I just couldn't get anywhere and my solicitor chased it up yesterday as I'd not heard anything. They left a voicemail for me and I've got an appointment tomorrow.

Thanks for the calming tips, I'm not sure about taking anyone - if he's there's, new (overlapped with me but doesn't know I know!) woman might be there (I wish I could warn her 😞) and I'd be there looking like a charity case with my sister.

Thankyou for the replies.

I think I've decided to go alone (with my solicitor, of course) as I don't like the thought of anyone I know feeling this stressed.

I wonder if my ex has known for longer. It's a complete fluke that I'm not working on the day as getting a shift swap at such short notice would have been challenging.

I've been trying to piece together why I'm so against anyone knowing and think it's a bit of self preservation. I've spent the last 2 years replying "no news" when asked how it was all going and it's easy to hide behind. Now there might be news and I don't want to face it!