Dad going to a solicitor.

[georginabetty123]

To cut a long story short - my baby’s dad is an ass. We split up very early on in my pregnancy. Weren’t married. I’m not looking for any personal opinions here, just advice on what will happen now.

He hasn’t provided anything for her, throughout my pregnancy and since her birth 2 weeks and 4 days ago.

He met her an hour after she was born, I hadn’t even been stitched up yet and he met her and then stayed the night at the hospital with me and her. He’s then seen her every other day since.

I asked him to change yesterday’s visit to today, as myself and my daughter needed a rest. We haven’t had a day since she was born where we haven’t had someone visiting, or having to go somewhere with her. I tried to explain this to him, that we both needed a break as she was really unsettled and I was exhausted, he kicked off. I didn’t say that he couldn’t see her, was simply asking him to change the day. He was vile to me on the phone, spoke to me like I was a naughty child.

I’m staying with my parents at the moment. My mum heard every word of the phone call. My mum messaged him yesterday evening, saying that unless he apologised to me, he wasn’t welcome in her home. Not that he couldn’t see baby, that he simply couldn’t come here.

He messaged me about half an hour ago saying that in no way did he owe me an apology, and that he was now going to seek legal action and that I’d be ‘hearing from his solicitor.’ I said that was fine. I’ve been more than accommodating considering how he’s behaved and he’s only shooting himself in the foot.

I would just like to know what will happen now? How long will all this take? What’s the best and worst possible outcome? Just if anybody has any experience of this please let me know.

Thanks in advance.

Sounds like you need mediation to come to an agreement on how often he visits and how long he stays - I guess if your baby is bf she can't stay with him so it'll be on your territory for the time being
I'd probably ring a solicitor to get advice in the short term

I haven't been in this situation but my DM has. Best advice is to communicate through emails and texts so everything is written down. No telephone calls as you aren't allowed to use recorded ones (even in DV cases like my DM).

When writing messages you need to ensure that you are calm and collected.

Surely if he wants to see DD and is going to a solicitor, then this is your opportunity to ensure he pays towards your ddaughter? Why should he have "rights" to see her without the responsibility of contributing to her upbringing - not a one way street.

Well if he told me that, I would tell him to go apologise and resume contact. Unhappily clients do tend to tell a rather on sided tale and therefore get poor advice.

If your ex decides to take it to court he ought to try mediation first although many don't bother.

If he applies to court, CAFCASS will be directed to dobacjground checks. The case will be listed for a hearing 5 weeks after issue. Cafcass will complete their checks and report 3 days before hearing . They Will usually have spoken to you both and give a view on the way forward.

If he gets daily or alternating day contact he will be a lucky man.

Have you appliwd to CMS for maintenance? Do so now and spend it on lawyers. What a prat.

What an overgrown man child. Congratulations on your baby