Advice re POA and Court of Protection

[Arkengarthdale]

It's complicated! And long and boring, sorry.

I am one of three siblings with a parent in a care home with dementia who obviously lacks capacity. We all three had power of attorney for said parent with major decisions like selling parent's house being joint between the three of us.

One sib then disclaimed their POA but they were rubbish at being an attorney anyway. Acquired all parent's possessions from storage and wouldn't account for them, wouldn't pay bills, wouldn't attend meeting etc.

But in withdrawing it means the other two can't make any 'joint' decisions without permission from Court of Protection. Looks like we have to apply to be deputies in spite of still being attorneys. Long drawn out process.

The other sibling, the co-attorney one, is staying in our parent's house until we have permission to sell it. My parent still has a mortgage and we agreed that sib would pay enough 'rent' to cover the mortgage, which is really really cheap for the area, much less than the going rate for rentals generally. Their grown-up child lives with them. We have had very bad experience in letting the property, one tenant caused £1000 worth of damage in 8 months. The agents have been crap and extremely expensive, and it's been a very stressful experience. Having my sib living in the house seems a win-win. The house is cared for and my sib has cheap accommodation (they have some mental health problems and only work part time)

But they do not actually pay the agreed 'rent' every month. They say they can't afford it but there are two adults working in that household and the rent is about £250 per month less than I pay (I live alone in a different part of the country).

I am so livid that one sibling acquired and no doubt flogged all my parent's possessions and now the other one is living rent free, with the argument that the parent wouldn't mind and would say yes if they knew.

I think this is an abuse of attorneyship and I'd be grateful for any advice on how to handle the non-payment Of rent. This sibling wants to buy the house when we get permission to sell it.

How on earth do I sort this out? I'm NC with one sibling and thought I had a good close relationship with the other until they pulled this stunt. What would you do?

I would just hurry up and get permission to sell it!

Not sure why you need permission though if you have POA

I can see the situation is unfair but is it worth severing your sibling relationship for?

The withdrawal of one of the attorneys means that the other two remaining can't make joint decisions. The selling of the property is listed in the POA as a joint decision. Therefore we need permission from the court to sell and it takes time (it's already been three months and they need masses more information)

Thanks for response

Any more advice please?

Is there anything in writing stating that you sib can live in the house, how long for, at what rent, when the rent is due, etc. You need to speak to the office of the public guardian if you think any of the attorneys are not acting in best interests, they can appoint someone else. What sort of ifto are the CoP asking for before they can sell the house. Who is responsible for making sure the mortgage is paid, has anyone discussed this with the mortgage lender? if it's not paid then what happens to the house?

Nothing in writing, just an informal temporary agreement between family members. It was only supposed to be for 3-4 months but it's coming up 10 months and only 4 months have been paid for.

We as attorneys are responsible for managing our parent's affairs so it's our responsibility that the mortgage is paid.

Court of Protection need proof of income and mortgage (again), proof of incapacity (the 2 years is being in a home and the adult social care Witness Statement already submitted aren't enough, it seems) and they need us to apply to be deputies which will cost the best part of £1k. It's so difficult to wade through the paperwork. I think a trip to citizens advice is necessary

Do you need a capacity assessment from a doctor, what's a witness statement. I agree you need to get advice. Are you having to pay the mortgage yourself then.

Huge mistake to allow sibling to stay in the house. All three of you should have paid the mortgage. What happens if sibling won’t leave and won’t pay the going rate for the house? How will you evict them if you need to? It’s a mess isn’t it.

I would see a solicitor very quickly.

The parent has income from pensions and the mortgage is paid out of that. The care home fees are also paid out of income but there isn't enough so the Council top up the fees. They get their money back when the house is sold.

I'm shocked that my sib is behaving like this, it's just like the other one who couldn't be trusted with someone else's money. I didn't foresee that they just wouldn't pay, never entered my head that it might happen that way. More fool me.

To whoever asked (sorry, on phone and can't scroll), an application has been made to the court of protection asking to rule that the house be sold, evidence had to be submitted to support the application in the form of 'witness statements'. The one from the social worker gave date of parent's diagnosis of dementia and also that the Council agreed they weren't coping at home and needed 24 hour care. It seems this is not enough for the court to be satisfied of parent's incapacity.

There are only two of us left dealing with our poor parent, the third has washed their hands of doing anything at all and has seemingly buggered off into the wild blue yonder. Doesn't even visit.

It sounds really frustrating, I hope you sort it out, is the doctor helping you with the capacity assessment, these things seem to take forever.

Sounds like cop need a mental capacity assessment which the local authority has to do (social workers, dr), then you can make best interest decisions. Social worker should know this and make it happen (might not be them doing it). Contact their offices and request this ASAP or care home can request (and they should if decisions are being made without involving your parent)

Having dementia doesn’t mean u lack capacity. Only mental capacity assessment by 2 (social worker and doctor) done separately with documented evidence from other professionals, carers, person, care home staff/manager, family.

Are u in Uk?

I've sent off the request to the GP but historically they've not been very helpful. The paperwork required for the court is just a grind that has to be done, and I can do it fairly easily if I actually put my mind to it. I'm just pissed off that two adults, both working, are living rent free at my parent's expense. It's not right. It's hard enough wading through everything on my own and shouldering the burden of running my parent's affairs and the other two sibs just piss about and take advantage. I'm really cross now

Yes in UK.

And the social worker is hopeless. Still waiting for a report about an assault on my parent by a fellow care home resident, SW says it went to Safeguarding so it's nothing to do with her. Aargh!

The carehome should know what's happened with the assault shouldn't they. Have you,considered giving up being an attorney and handing it all over to a solicitor.

Care home just say everything's fine and how pleased Safeguarding were with the way the home handled the incident. They are rubbish at giving information, everything's always rosy and well in the world. My parent stinks to high heaven as they won't wash or change their clothes but the care home says that they can't force anything.

The the whole tale is a sorry one. We can't move parent nearer to one of us (both of us are 200 miles away) and the local sibling doesn't bother visiting. The whole scenario is heartbreaking so the reneging on the rent agreement is just too much.

Sorry for your situation. If you are letting someone live in the house at below market rate, you should really have gone to Court of Protection for permission www.gov.uk/lasting-power-attorney-duties/property-financial-affairs . It could be a way to persuade the sibling living there to buck up their ideas.

That's where we're at, asking C of P for permission. The previous tenant had left the place in such a mess and we weren't sure whether we were allowed to let it, the sib stayed there for a while.

They've actually just coughed up some rent so my threatening them with solicitors and court seems to have worked!