Divorcing so now what

[cattychatty]

I’ve been separated from my stbxh for 3 years we are going to get divorced. It’s pretty amicable. I am still in the marital home with the children I pay the mortgage and all bills including a loan we took out for home improvements. He pays maintenance for the two boys still living at home they are 14 &7. I want to stay in the home but can’t afford to buy him out. He earns about 4 times my wage I work part time no chance of extending my hours due to 7 yr old sen. I was always a part time worker while he was home working around his shift and taking care of the children. My question is can he force me to move?can he force a house sale? There is quite a lot of equity in the house but not enough to buy somewhere else so I’d have to rent. He had a large settlement for an accident that happened while we were married is that classed as marital money. Sorry for all the questions

If it was his fault you separated eg he had an affair and he admitted it and you’re divorcing because of this then you’d be entitled to stay in the house until your youngest was 18.

Blame has zero to do with any divorce settlement.

Take proper legal advice.

It was me that ended it no 3rd party involved.

Kit that is totally wrong. Whether he had an affair or not has fuck all to do with it.

If it was his fault you separated eg he had an affair and he admitted it and you’re divorcing because of this then you’d be entitled to stay in the house until your youngest was 18.

Even if that was the reason, OP has said it isn't, it's not the way finances for divorce works.

The court will want to ensure that everyone has a roof over their heads. Whether that roof is your current home or not is another matter and depends on a range of factors. Take proper legal advice. A lawyer will be able to advise the likely outcome once they are in possession of all the facts.

And, as others have said, Kit is completely wrong. Even if there was someone else involved (and there isn't), blame is completely irrelevant in determining the financial settlement.

Can’t really afford a solicitor I’ll make an appointment with the citizens advice first.

You need a solicitor. Your home is at risk. CAB are great but won’t fight your corner sufficiently when push comes to shove.

Well just giving advice I was given from a solicitor, and @blue I said ‘eg’, didn’t insinuate there was an affair it was an example, and @witches it was only said after that there wasn’t, so I was only saying if. Guess I was given wrong advice, even though my friend has been given this advice recently too and she now gets to stay in the marital home until her now 8 month son is 18 because her husband had an affair and he admitted it, so all written up in the divorce, hey what do I know!?

The law is clear. Behaviour is not relevant in determining the finances unless it directly affected the financial situation, e.g. one party running up huge debts. If a court makes an award based on one party having an affair the party concerned would have no trouble getting it overturned on appeal. If your friend's case went to court the affair will have played no part whatsoever in the decision to allow her to stay in the marital home until her son is 18.

Prh47 is of course completely correct.

Unless Kit's friend was in some weird-arse jurisdiction where they actively encourage mudslinging litigation

In England and Wales, only the most heinous misconduct, such as sexual abuse of the children, or violence that permanently damages earning capacity has an impact on financial settlement.

The accident damages can be included, but it depends on your particular case.

www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed86085

I don’t understand why my friend gets to keep the house then. I could’ve but chose to have the larger percentage of the house £, because he did wrong and was agreed in the divorce.

Your friend got to keep the house because that is what the Court, after seeing all the financial evidence for both sides, decided was the fairest outcome given both side's financial position, outlook, and child caring responsibilities. It was deemed the appropriate division of marital assets. Other couples will be in different financial situations, and it may not be the most appropriate route.

Nothing to do with why they were divorcing.

Just to add, if the divorcing couple agree the finances themselves they can take into account whatever they want. If A wants more because B had an affair and B agrees, the court will accept that unless the result is clearly unfair to B. However, if A and B cannot agree and it goes to court, B's affair would have no bearing on the final outcome.