Being accused of disability discrimination

[MyCatWontShutUp]

Hi looking for guidance really. Yes it's a long post but trying not to drip feed.

I run a hobby group. Nothing fancy. Once a month meetups to chat, do our hobby and eat cake. We are in Scotland.
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I chose my venue (which costs a little more than other ones) and pay for the use of the venue as I need it. It's a local authority venue and has disabled access, bathrooms and good lighting.

I started the group about a year ago. Started with 10 people. Now up to 40.

We ask for a fee every month a nominal amount to cover hall costs, tea coffee and cake is provided.

The group when set up agreed we wanted over 16 only. Lots of mums come who need a break from children. Also our hobby has a number of tools that can be dangerous as sharp, hot etc. Conversation can occasionally get a bit risqué and it's nice to have a break from my own children too. It's peaceful and I think this is why it's successful.

Recently a woman approached me about allowing her 13 year old to come as she is her carer. But I said unfortunately the group is over 16 due to insurance and health and safety. It's in the groups constitution etc.

I'm now being accused of disability discrimination and I'm horrified. I have stated they can attend with a carer over the age of 16 but that's not made them happy.

I have been told they will be lodging a complaint with the council.

I have already done my best to be inclusive to everyone. I even made sure cake was available for lots of dietary needs too.

Eeek.

Thanks @Bellamuerte I had similar thoughts but I think the panic of being accused made me overthink.

Could you advertise for a volunteer to come along and support these participants or is the support they require too intimate?

It is a hobby group that you run for free. It is an adult group so you are insured for 16 plus? Are you certain that your insurance says this?

My reaction would be as it is an adult group, as soon as a non-adult joins the insurance becomes null and void as they are on the premises uninsured and so you would have to stop the group at that point.

@LIZS the care required according to one is of a personal nature. There is disabled toilets but really I would then need risk assessment, personal liability and someone willing to carry out any care. I would also likely require an enhanced disclosure. The one I have is for university and NHS use only. You need a new disclosure for every environment you work in.

I'm a volunteer. I don't get paid for this group. It's a community group which charges a nominal fee to come along. For that nominal fee. You get your space, tea/coffee and cake etc.

The fee covers cost of tea etc. Covers the cost of the hall hire, insurance... any excess is banked and then we used the excess money at Christmas to hire a disabled access lowliner bus to take those without access to transport to a craft shop in a big city. Paid for the activity and then we all went for lunch. The Craft Group members bought their own lunch.

Stand your ground. If something happened to the thirteen year old, you'd be in deep shit.

There are a lot of members who have disabilities. The group is great at supporting each other. We have other wheelchair users, those on sticks and crutches and lots with a variety of other conditions.

I have previously sat with someone having an anxiety attack until they felt more comfortable. I have honestly tried to go over and above to ensure as many people have access to the group as I can.

But we are an adult group. We advertise that fact. Over 16. We recently set up a constitution when we realised that the group was becoming popular.

I turned down a variety of venues. Some of who offered free space because I couldn't get access for those in wheelchairs or with other mobility issues.

I guess I'm feeling a little frustrated and overwhelmed. All I want to do is stick stuff together and eat cake.

I'm doing all of this in amongst working. Toddler and my studies.

@BattleCuntGalactica love the name! I'm trying to stand my group. I'm going to speak to Govan Law Society as a previous poster suggested.

I'm meant to be studying but instead I'm wound up by all of this stuff.

OP your group sounds brilliant, and I think she’s being very unfair. If her carer was over 16 there wouldn’t be an issue, so it cannot be classed as disability discrimination because the fact she cannot join the group isn’t anything to do with her disability.
If she was to bring someone with her who was over 16 she could join, so it is she who is being awkward and unreasonable.

if you are a student nurse, you may be able to get free legal advice from your university. Might be worth a check?

I hadn't even thought about uni. I will send an email.

Also from thinking about the young carer, do they want to be coming along to an adults only meeting which they can't even participate in just to assist their parent. I know my nearly 13 yr old (who is lovely) wouldn't have it high on her list of fun activities. Obviously it comes down to the legality of it, but don't feel too bad for saying no because it is a wider picture. It sounds as if you are already doing a great job and when their carers are old enough/ they have different carers then they can come along too.

No, this isn't disability discrimination at all. It's an entirely reasonable age restriction. The woman is being a CF.

I'm disabled, and my 15yo dd is my registered career. In Scotland too, they are called young carers.

For op asking, any registered cater has to care 30+ hours a week.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong at all, and I am very surprised this woman threw around a term such as discrimination! There are many things she wouldn't be able to do or attend as her carer is under 16. Sadly she will either not be able to attend or find somebody who is over 16.

Excuse the terrible typos!

I would be worried about the young carer as well, if her mum really doesn't have any back-up carers or anyone over 16 she can call on.

Poor children :( 30 hours a week caring plus their studies as well. The plight of the loss of childhood is horrible :(

It's not always like that, I know a young carer whose mother (who has a chronic illness) is very sensitive to her daughter's need to have a childhood as well and makes complicated arrangements work so that her dd gets proper breaks to see her friends etc. And even though it's pretty bruising for her to admit that her dd needs it, she makes sure she has counselling and attends a young carers' support group as well.

And those hours might not always be spent actively 'caring' they might be there doing their homework but if their parent has a fit then they need to help them.

op, I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds as though you have done everything to be as inclusive as possible. However, I don't think that 13 year-olds should be allowed in, even if they are carers for their parents.

Being disabled sucks (I have autism) and that sometimes it means that we aren't able to do exactly the same things as everyone else in the same way but sometimes that's the way it is.

Wow... my daughter has a 'loss of childhood' that's ridiculously judgemental!!

My dd is registered as a young carer as she spends most of her time with me (being her mum and living together obviously!) and being part of a young carers association means a lot of help and support for them dealing with having parents who are disabled! It doesn't mean she spends her time manually handling me or wiping my arse! My husband is my carer too.
Through the young carers association my dd goes to a wonderful group and has met many new friends. They have had wonderful fun excursions, additional support throughout school and She has been given vocuchers as part of a 'time for me' fund, as well as being taken on holiday to holland with the young carers charity for a break from her responsibilities!

It's shit being disabled, and it's even worse having children when you are, but being registered a carer doesn't mean that the children don't have a childhood at all

Faintline I think being a young carer is generally not very well understood - people can assume it means "sole carer"