IHT Wedding gift question

[cowatthegate]

Scenario is my dm will be leaving over the threshold in her will. I am getting married in 6 months. She is likely to die in the next 2 months and is keen to take advantage of the £5000 taxfree wedding gift for me. Should she write out a cheque now and give it to me (what proof is there that it’s a wedding thing and therefore exempt) or does the executor need to have it in writing to present to HMRC later ? To complicate matters I am NC with the executor and she nor my dms extended family know I am getting married. Help!

If there is such family strife, why does your mother not appoint a different executor? Perhaps a professional? May save a lot of heartache after she's gone.

The will Has been made at a solicitors Office but the executors are her sister and husband. She’s in no state to start changing wills or anything as she can barely even sign her name anymore. I do have POA for everything though.
There must be a way without changing executor.

Cheques are usually valid for 6 months. So I suggest that she writes one six months less one day from your wedding, and sends it with a letter saying that it is your wedding present. Pay in the cheque as far into the future as you can (closer to the wedding the better) Then you hope for the best that no-one makes a fuss.

and I hope the coming months go gently

The proximity of the gift and your easily proven wedding should be sufficient.

She can change executors by making a codicil to her will. If It's a change to a law firm, it is incredibly straightforward and unlikely to be overturned. The solicitor can come to her for signatures.

💐 for you and your mother.

Changing executors by appointing a solicitor, puts a lot of power into the hands of those solicitors, with very little remedy if they drag their heels. Not an issue if you know the firm and are confident they have time for you , but i wouldn't do it. It would be just as easy to have yourself appointed executor.

Having yourself appointed is far more likely to cause fights and be challenged than appointing a good professional.

If there is family aggro, get a lawyer to do it. We Don't generally care about people's family nuttiness. It's just work.

Well, MrsBertBaby i appreciate that a good solicitor would be a neutral third party, which might be helpful if the family are not at peace with each other.

How would it help, though, if the solicitors are just too busy, so their qualified people who are capable of doing the work are all becoming to ill to work and /or leaving? In my case nearly a full year went by and we were actually no further forward. It was not a complicated will, just a series of appointments postponed and then cancelled, as someone left the firm, a delay before a new appointment could be arranged, with a new face who seemed to have no knowledge of the facts so starting again from scratch. The firm were local to me in a biggish town and had been recommended by two entirely separate people. They were good, got popular but seemed unable to grow to meet the demand.

I have a written apology and they cancelled the invoice, which to be fair was sent in error, but the case was still no further forward. The next firm i found were fine and we were all done four weeks after my instructions to the second firm.

If the first had been appointed executors, rather than being used to support me as executor, we might still be stuck. I have no idea how common this is, I've only used two firms for the one will so for me its 50:50, which seems too risky in an already complicated family situation.

Thanks all, it will cause a huge hoohah if we were to change executor to me (I’m receiving everything anyway so would it even be legal?) , she can barely even do a signature, takes a good few minutes to put pen to paper. If I was to write a cheque dated now and just pay it in nearer to the time and also write a short note saying it’s a wedding gift for X date in July 2018, and have her sign both the cheque and the note would that be ok?
The will was done at the solicitors and we did do a codicil adding a tiny bit to charity rather than myself being main inheritor. Could we just do another codicil?

As I understand it, when someone dies, the bank accounts are frozen and a cheque paid in after that would not be paid out, especially if it was dated after the person had died.

Sorry about your DM

Sorry you are going though all this at once....

There is no issue with being both executor and beneficiary of a will, in fact it really makes everything simple, so long as there are no credible challenges to the terms of the will. A child would inherit, before siblings, if there were no will so all good. I was both, and prepared the forms for probate then had the solicitors review them, just to make sure I had not made mistakes, before applying for probate then distributing the estate. It takes a bit of effort to execute a will, I cannot imagine that anyone would not be glad to be relieved of the burden, especially if they were not beneficiaries. In the same way, if they are not all that keen,they could give the matter little priority or even drag their heels, so that everything could take ages and ages.

To make any changes to a will, the person must be judged capable of making these changes. If they are, then crack on, if not, best not make any changes incas it calls the whole thing into question.

Delaying paying in the check seems unnecessarily complicated for no benefits. Pay it in, and keep a note that it was a gift made in contemplation of marriage, so long as the marriage goes ahead, you are all good. Sorry to have to point this out, but the bank would have to take notice of the date on the death certificate and would probably freeze the account. If the cheque was uncashed, that would add it to the debts of the estate. No biggie, but i see no benefit in delaying paying it in.

All the best with finding your way though all this OK.