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Can exh take me back to court for something he has agreed to?

7 replies

ilovemilton · 21/12/2017 21:38

Biggest contact order case ever. Physical and emotional abuse to both DC and I. I never supported contact, the children never wanted to attend and I continued to report ongoing abuse, to the extent that change of residence and/or care proceedings were threatened should we return to court again after the final order was made.

Four years later, with court hearings every couple of months, and we have a final order. DD goes to high school and finally her challenging exh becomes too much for him. She stopped going after he assaulted her in front of her mates and he was no longer collecting her from school. It was confrontational at first, but we now have months of DD refusing to even speak to him, with him texting her saying she only needs to go if she wants to.

Exh has now sent letters saying that if contact is not reinstated we will return to court. I sent her to the place of collection as stated in the order and he wasn’t there. She texted him to ask where he was, and he said she only had to go if she wanted to, not because I made her. His solicitor had said the fact she went to be collected means she wants contact and I am stopping it. There have been similar conversations about holidays and other arrangements, but he is continuing to text her to say it’s up to her whether she goes or not.

Just to add insult to injury, the legal aid he somehow had for the last four years has apparently been reinstated, on the grounds that he has suffered domestic abuse. How is this even possible???

Apologies in advance for drip feeding but no one would read this post if I wrote all the history!

OP posts:
ilovemilton · 21/12/2017 21:40

Just to add, I never agreed contact should happen as it was as I didn’t agree it was safe. To the children, I always supported that they attend and why it was important, much as it broke me to do so.

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prh47bridge · 21/12/2017 23:11

Yes, he can take you back to court if he wants to either vary the order or ask for it to be enforced. But I struggle to see his solicitor's argument that her going for contact means you are stopping contact.

Make sure you have the texts (as many as possible) and keep a diary. You may need it as evidence.

ilovemilton · 21/12/2017 23:18

How can he ask for it to be enforced at the very same time as telling DD that it doesn’t matter?

I made her go and he didn’t collect her and he wants to enforce it??

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prh47bridge · 22/12/2017 00:07

He can ask. That doesn't mean he will succeed.

DaisysStew · 22/12/2017 00:15

Make sure your DD saves the message where she says she's there and asks where he is.

The court can order contact but they can't force your DD to be enthusiastic about it which is what your ex and his solicitor seem to be demanding. She showed up, that's all that needs to happen.

Was the assault reported to the police? If so I'm appalled that contact is still being made to go ahead. I'm sorry that you and your DD are going through this and I hope if it goes back to court they actually listen to your DD and put something in place to protect her.

ilovemilton · 22/12/2017 09:52

Yes it was, as was previous assaults. There have been reports from various people to nspcc etc.

Court say I’m making it up / getting other people to make it up and that I’m abusing DC by dragging them round to be interviewed against their DF.

OP posts:
ilovemilton · 22/12/2017 09:54

It’s going to cost me thousands to be represented. No one understands how he keeps getting legal aid!

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