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Original poster

Court order to sell home

130 replies

user1479246102 · 21/11/2017 00:07

Me and my ex split in 2013 and he moved out of our marital home and I stayed with our 2 young children. I left work to be a SAHM when our first was born so I had no wage coming in and so I got incone support.

I met my new partner and therefor my ex stopped paying his half of the mortgage as he though I had my partner living with me,but as he is in the army we only see each other at weekends, so I was left to pay the full ammount out of my benefits and child maintainance.

We ended up going to mediation as he wanted his name off the mortgage but I was reluctant to sell as I wasnt finacially stable to,but I agreed that once I was in full tine work that i would have the house on the market the following year (August 2017)
I started training as a TA and got a part time job at my local school just 5 hours a week with the view to go full time once I was qualified.

However come January 2017 I fell pregnant and so had to put things on hold...but still August came and my ex asked me about putting the house up for sale...and I told him that my baby was due in September and that we agreed that the house would get put on the market so long as I had a full time job, which wasnt possible being pregnant. So he stopped paying the child maintinance which I depended on to pay the mortgage so I got in arrears...I recieved a court order to sell the home and now he has sent a letter in to my incone support ti say I have someone living wih me (which I dont) and now my income support has stopped....so what can I do??! I cant afford to go to court and I cant rent due to credit rating and im on the council housing list but theres no properties suitable for my family....

OP posts:
Familylawsolicitor · 21/11/2017 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 21/11/2017 22:01

I cant afford legal advice. Im going to have to do it alone

OP posts:
Familylawsolicitor · 21/11/2017 22:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 21/11/2017 22:05

Is there no way I can defend my order to court.. through letters...i mean..will I still have to go to court once the house is up for sale.. because that will be before the 12 weeks you said it would take

OP posts:
Original poster
user1479246102 · 21/11/2017 22:08

And yes, I had all the intention to say thank you for your advice once id finish3d answering questions

OP posts:
Familylawsolicitor · 21/11/2017 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 21/11/2017 22:18

Thank you...
I just dont see the point in my ex spending money when it can be resolved between us. I would have liked it to be done sooner but different circumstance kept cropping up. I agreed that as he put the deposit on our home which was money from inheritance that I would make sure he got that back in full. So if equity came to 5k then he would get the full 5k and me nothing...but as it was his inheritance that allowed us to buy this home in the first place Im happy to do that.

OP posts:
worridmum · 22/11/2017 01:53

sadly i can have sympathy for your situation I can also see it from your EXH point of view your life choices are actively preventing him from moving on with his life (aka if hes on one mortgage unless he is stupidly rich he will be unlikely to get another one).

You make an informal agreement to sell the house then you go back on said agreement because you got pregnant so understandably you don't want to move when baby is so young but he has already waited 3-5 years already.

From his point of view you have gotten pregnant once and decided too not follow through with what you agreed so you wanted too delay it longer, but without the court order mandating you to sell what is stopping you from getting pregnant again or not being in full time employment (due to baby/young child). So your EX isn't doing anything wrong he just wants to make it official so you cannot drag it out (I know you most likely wouldn't but some people do).

Good luck with everything.

Collaborate · 22/11/2017 07:09

It sounds to me like they don't trust that you'll market the property with sufficient vigour, and that you'd be happy for the sale to drag on because, let's face it, it's cheaper for you the longer you stay there.

With a court order for sale they can apply to the court quite quickly if you refuse to follow the selling agent's advice to lower the asking price, or refuse to accept a reasonable offer.

wheresmyphone · 22/11/2017 07:27

Phone CAB. Explain situation. Say you need an appointment as at risk of losing the House. They can handle House and benefits advice. Shelter also have a phone line for advice. Get there pronto. It’s easier to resolve this the earlier you get help. Both organisations can help.

wheresmyphone · 22/11/2017 07:28

Meant Citizens advice. Both Shelter and CA have a national website with usual info. Read them and phone them!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 22/11/2017 09:24

I would have liked it to be done sooner but different circumstance kept cropping up.

This us why he us probably going to court. You say you are going to do it early next year but if you have delayed in the past he has no guarantee you won't again.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 22/11/2017 09:39

Getting pregnant isnt me delaying it!

I want to find my forever home with my family...im not going to be forced into moving into an house that isnt right just to please my ex. I want somewhere where my family can grow safely and also clise to my young chidrens school...their lives have been disrupted enough with their parents splitting up without changing schools too.

So what would you do??? Let your cheating ex who walked out on your family leaving you with no job to pay a full mortgage call all the shots??!

Cause im certainly not! IM doing whats best for our children, not for him. Iv gone into arrears with bills so I can put food on the table.

And someone said Im not moving as its the cheaper option....how is me staying here the cheaper option???

OP posts:
BishBoshBashBop · 22/11/2017 09:52

I want to find my forever home with my family...im not going to be forced into moving into an house that isnt right just to please my ex

So when are you going to do it then? Where is the guarantee that the perfect home will materialise in the next year?

All which you have stated is emotion. Courts aren't interested in why your marriage ended.

You had an agreement when you divorced which you are not sticking to. It is that which the courts are interested in.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 22/11/2017 09:56

So the courts will make a family homeless will they?? If I cant get a mortgage or rent thats what will happen. Im on the list for council housing but there are no homes close to my childrens school. The court will do what is best for the children.

OP posts:
WitchesHatRim · 22/11/2017 10:02

The courts will not let the situation carry on indefinitely.

They won't allow you to wait for your perfect home. It just won't happen.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 22/11/2017 10:21

So what can they do??
I cant help if no one wants to buy this place...i mean..i wouldnt buy it it needs that much doing to it.

Il sell it to the first one who puts an offer on...

OP posts:
Taylor22 · 22/11/2017 10:51

Sorry Op. I understand that this is causing you stress but I think what your Ex is doing is right.

You chose to get pregnant in a very shackles situation. That pregnancy and all the issues it's causing you are none of his concern.

The house will be effecting his life. His finances. His credit report. It could be stopping his ability to move on with his life.

Don't throw a pity party. Be pro active. Make a list of jobs that need to be done. Send it to your Ex and work out how they're going to be completed.
Can you sell through something like purple bricks to minimise costs?

You now know you have to move. So contact your BF and ask him where you're all moving to.
As you have so much to do he can make the list of potential new places.
A week to do a basic list should be more than sufficient.

This is happening Op. It's time to do something about it.

sparechange · 22/11/2017 11:19

OP, you can’t use your kids as a get out of jail card
You’ve had 4 years to think about the situation and come up with a plan
You’ve made a plan to sell and then gone back on it. What was your plan if you had sold in August?

You can’t afford to stay in the house. You are in mortgage arrears. The courts will see this and expect you to cut your cloth accordingly. A divorce means both parties have a drop in standard of living so that means you have to compromise rather than insisting on staying in the same house

You have a DP who has a child. Why can’t he step up and be part of the housing solution? The courts will ask this...

Original poster
user1479246102 · 22/11/2017 12:30

My partner is stepping up. Members of the armed forces can receive a grant worth a percentage of their annual income, he wasnt aware of this until only recently and we are awaiting the go ahead paperwork so we can start looking for properties.

And I AM NOT using my children for anything. THEY come first in all of this. Il be happy to live on the streets and them go live with their Dad until I sort my finances out, but he refuses to do that. And I have ni one else to support me.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 22/11/2017 15:41

My partner is stepping up. Members of the armed forces can receive a grant worth a percentage of their annual income, he wasnt aware of this until only recently and we are awaiting the go ahead paperwork so we can start looking for properties.

This sums it all up really. Original post started yesterday. Today you mention the father of your soon to be born child will join in with you in buying home for you all. Slam dunk order for sale. You can't expect to rely on the equity your ex has in the property to meet the housing needs of you, your 2 kids (the most dependent of whom isn't his) and your new, working full time partner.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 22/11/2017 15:48

Collaberate...I dont get what your saying....and my baby is 8 weeks old..hes been born

OP posts:
Collaborate · 22/11/2017 15:52

You plan to live with your boyfriend. Arguably you are already living together. He has to stay elsewhere during the week for his job, but spends all other time with you. You've also stopped claiming income support - why would you do that unless you'd accepted cohabitation?

You are literally going to be buying or renting a house together. The court will order the property you own with your ex be sold.

Original poster
user1479246102 · 22/11/2017 16:23

I know what the court will do...I want to sell the house and buy new with my partner. All im querying here is the fact that my ex is going to spend god knows how much on court and solicitors fees even though ive tokd his solicitor wh3n the housr is going up for sale. Yes, it was meant to be August this year but I didnt plan on getting pregnant...and I certainly wasnt going to put my house up for sale with a new baby on the way. But come 2018 il be in a more stable situation. Which I have advised this to his solicitor....but no, he woukd rather cause more stress and take it to court

OP posts:
OldWitch00 · 22/11/2017 16:25

Children are actually quite resilient I find it rather annoying to see this excuse along with schooling used so often. Families move and change schools all the time.
If your that concerned about the children’s stability, marriage and settled with new partner before pregnancy would have been ideal...along with gainful employment.

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