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Original poster

Child protection

25 replies

Afrohijabi · 20/10/2017 18:17

Hi,

I'm wondering if anyone can help advice me.

Without writing essay and getting into matters I have a 13 day year old son, me and his dad were together and have been together before that. Before I left hospital social services Made me sighn an agreement that I wouldn't contact him and he wasn't aloud to see his son until assessments had taken place because he is a risk. Now I'm not an idiot but something seems to be taken way out of hand! And I'm worried it's family.

Anyway there is a child protection meeting which my mum has also been invited to? I don't think she understands how dangerous her opinion will be. She dosnt get along with my husband and told me quite bluntly yesterday I'll tell everyone there what I really feel about him she's wanted us to get divorced forever and now I feel she has a chance to get us separated by going above and beyond detaining his character to social services and putting my son at risk! I'm so worried and wondered if there is anyway I can stop her from attending the meeting because ultimately she dosnt really care about how I feel or her grandson and just wants me divorced and can't see past that at the moment. I'm absolutely terrified what will happen to my son. Please can anyone offer advise.

OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 20/10/2017 18:18

Can you advise why your son is subject to a CP plan?

Phosphorus · 20/10/2017 18:20

Why do SS think the child's father is a risk?

They must be quite certain, to have taken the steps they have.

QuiteLikely5 · 20/10/2017 18:20

Is your son living with your mother?

Your mother is being invited because she is considered to be a protective factor in your sons life and by sharing information with her the SW feel that she is important in ensuring his safety whereas you might not be a certainty in that regard at the present time.

bastardkitty · 20/10/2017 18:23

Your assumption that things are 'way out of hand' is a concern. Maybe your mum is seen as being more able to prioritise your baby son's safety.

Darthvadersmuuuum · 20/10/2017 18:25

SS don't become involved because of the hearsay of a person - They need evidence to go to CP. Why did they want you to sign a no contact agreement?

2014newme · 20/10/2017 18:27

Are you still in contact with this man who you say is a risk

glovesonstrings · 20/10/2017 18:30

So what's the backstory? Is the father known to the police? Domestic violence, or something else?

Steeley113 · 20/10/2017 18:38

Social workers don't get involved for nothing. They clearly invited your mum for a reason too.

Hecticlifeanddrowning8 · 20/10/2017 18:42

Is it a case conference? Because if it is, only the parents are usually invited.
I'm pretty sure you could stop her going tbh, but ask yourself why they want her there? Like others are saying, is it because they see her as a protective factor? If so you would be biting off your nose to spite your face by stopping her from being there.
Why have ss decided your husband can't be around baby? Because as hard as it is you have to put that baby before your marriage now. Ss can and do take baby's into care , much quicker than older children .

Allthebestnamesareused · 20/10/2017 22:38

How old are you and your partner?

Has he done anything that may be considered a risk?

Does he take drugs or drink excessively?

DaisysStew · 20/10/2017 22:44

What is it that you're so concerned your mum will say? If your partner poses no danger to you or your child then you have nothing to worry about. However for there to be a CP put in place Social Services must have some very serious concerns.

MaisyPops · 20/10/2017 22:45

Social servives would not be at this stage on a whim.

They have concerns about your child's safety

They clearly have concerns about your safety and your ability to keep your childten safe (I would tentatively say rightly so as you seem to be wanting a you and DH against the world outcome).

They will have invited your mother as a protective figure in yours and your child's life.

In a nutshell, if they are not happy that you will keep your child safe then you risk losing them. That may mean that you need to acknowledge that social servives and your mother wouldn't just make stuff up to be mean or bevause they happen to not like DH.

RedHelenB · 22/10/2017 05:43

Was it because of your mother that as got involved? Would she tell lies do you think? If not, then the worse she can do is exaggerate facts. Are you staying at your mum's with the baby?

blueskyinmarch · 22/10/2017 06:23

I am a social worker and I am guessing your Mum is invited as she is involved with some aspect of caring for your DS? They must really think your DP poses a significant risk to you and your DS if they are convening a child protection case conference. The people in the meeting need to know the truth about your situation. Are you worried she will lie or do you just not want the whole truth to be known? Can you give us an indication of what sort of risk your DP is supposed to pose?

Collaborate · 22/10/2017 08:06

The big unknown, that you’re not sharing, is why ss think the father’s a risk. You seem to minimise their concerns. That will heighten the concerns they have. Don’t risk losing your child. Get some advice from a child care solicitor.

No one can say more than this on this thread without you sharing that crucial piece of information.

LoveProsecco · 22/10/2017 08:10

Agree with other posters you need to be more focused on why SS deem your partner such a risk

Focus on the safety of your child and you

NerrSnerr · 22/10/2017 08:13

It’s impossible to say without knowing why they think he’s a risk. Is your mum helping care for your son?

newdaylight · 22/10/2017 08:17

They think he's a risk because of something that has happened before. Do you know what it is?

Chances are its something serious, that's why he's currently deemed to be a risk until further assessment takes place. And your mother agrees that he's a risk.

However you don't agree. Therefore social services are worries that you won't keep your child safe from him and your child might therefore be harmed.

newdaylight · 22/10/2017 08:19

You can probably state you don't want your mother there....but it wouldn't look great

insancerre · 22/10/2017 08:19

Is your son 13 days old and you've just left hospital?
Its just that you used both days and years so I was a bit confused
There is no way social services would be involved unless they had serious concerns about your child's father
Are you sure he hasn't got previous convictions and involvement with social services? How well do you know his background?

hiyasminitsme · 22/10/2017 08:19

One parent minimising the risk that the other parent poses is a huge red flag. You need to start working wit not against SS ASAP. If it is felt you can't keep your baby safe there's a real chance s/he couldbe removed.

Jenala · 22/10/2017 08:21

Why do they think your husband is a risk?

JaneEyre70 · 22/10/2017 08:28

I hate to say this but your mother isn't the issue here, your husband is and I think if you want to keep your baby with you, then you need to start listening what SS are trying to tell you. You are minimising whatever your husband has done by the sound of it. Are you able to say a bit more about what the concerns are?

hiyasminitsme · 22/10/2017 08:31

I hate to say this but your mother isn't the issue here, your husband is and I think if you want to keep your baby with you, then you need to start listening what SS are trying to tell you. You are minimising whatever your husband has done by the sound of it. Are you able to say a bit more about what the concerns are?

Exactly

your OP shouts that you are willing to put the interests of your partner above the safety of your child. sorry to be blunt, but social services are hugely overworked and for them to bother to be so involved in the neonatal period there must be serious risk. don't minimise it if you want to keep your child.

insancerre · 22/10/2017 08:38

Your mum needs to attend the meeting
If social services think that you are placing your child at risk by continuing contact with his father, then they will be looking for an alternative to you caring for him. The best person would be your mum, if she isn't there then you are potentially looking at your baby being placed in to care
I'm not trying to scare you but you must know what the concerns are
Social services will have told you

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