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Original poster

To put partner on mortgage

92 replies

Sunnyx · 08/10/2017 19:44

I have been with my partner for nearly 8 years and we now have a ( month old together. He is a student and finishes uni next June. I have a house in my name and maybe have 20k equity. I have mainly supported him through his studies but when he starts working next year, expect him to pay for half.

My question is...i would like to put him on the mortgage or legally own the house with me when he pays half but how do I protect myself if anything goes wrong. I would like to make sure any ££ I have put in so far, payments and deposits etc. i will get back as it came out of my pocket.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 09/10/2017 07:52

You can't "put someone on a mortgage". To do so you'd need to apply for a new joint mortgage. (Similarly if you were to split you'd have to apply for a new mortgage as you can't just take someone off a mortgage either.). If your OH isn't earning it will limit your borrowing power. Usually mortgage companies want the deeds (which denote who owns the property legally) to reflect who is on the mortgage, but it doesn't have to be so.

Original poster
Sunnyx · 09/10/2017 11:30

Thank you all. What someone said about the house sale...which could basically mean I lose my equity and him get everything back has totally put me off that idea. i was in a well paid job but currently on maternity leave and going back part time. To put him on the mortgage, doesn't seem like a good idea either. So I could put him on the deeds and get something written up that I get £x back then 50/50 after he works and contributes half. I need to think about this and I will obviously speak to a solicitor when it comes to it.

OP posts:
TittyGolightly · 09/10/2017 11:35

Don't think the mortgage co would agree to him going on the deeds.

thatdearoctopus · 09/10/2017 11:37

Why would he be entitled to receive back what he'd paid into the mortgage? If he rented somewhere, the landlord wouldn't pay back all rent paid when he moved out.

expatinscotland · 09/10/2017 11:45

'i was in a well paid job but currently on maternity leave and going back part time. To put him on the mortgage, doesn't seem like a good idea either. So I could put him on the deeds and get something written up that I get £x back then 50/50 after he works and contributes half. I need to think about this and I will obviously speak to a solicitor when it comes to it.'

It is never, never, never a wise decision to jack in full-time work to do childcare when you are in an unmarried relationship. BAD idea.

Zampa · 09/10/2017 11:53

I've been in two similar situations.

  1. ExDP paid me rent equivalent to half of the mortgage and 50% of all bills. This was much cheaper than equivalent rent. When we split up 4 years later, he got nothing back from me, in the same way as if he'd been paying a Landlord. I benefitted from having more disposable income and he obviously couldn't save what he was paying me towards his own deposit. At the time of splitting, there was no increase in the capital value of the property but if there had been, that would have been to my sole benefit too. In hindsight, I think I treated him quite unfairly and we should have saved his "rent" in a separate account
  2. I have just moved house with my DP, with whom I have 2 children. I brought substantial equity to the relationship but we both needed to be on the mortgage we have together for affordability. Therefore we entered into a Deed of Trust, with a provision for me to take the equity out before any proceeds were split on sale, a separate % agreement in splits of ownership and a provision regarding first right refusal on buying one another out

DP was also added to the deeds of my existing house and to do so we needed to remortgage in both names and pay Stamp Duty when we lodged the transfer with Land Registry. Again, we've signed a Deed of Trust about ownership.

Both Deeds could be ignored by a judge if we later marry but would be considered in court as they show intent.

Original poster
Sunnyx · 09/10/2017 11:55

He is not my tenant. He is my partner of 8 years. Why are people comparing him to a tenant who wouldn't receive their rent back. He will be contributing to my mortgage...ok he's in a good position as he hasn't had to save for a deposit but I see it that he is now contributing and would get money back like any homeowner when they sold their house. All I'm asking is how can i make sure he's ONLY entitled to what he puts in, so I don't lose my deposit etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunnyx · 09/10/2017 11:57

Expatibscptland why? Im in a secure job and pretty sure they would up my hours if I needed to. I can also afford the mortgage bills etc even on part time work. I have thought this all through and am very fortunate I am financially stable.

OP posts:
thatdearoctopus · 09/10/2017 11:58

But homeowners don't necessarily get back what they put in, unless their house has gained in value. They certainly don't get back the interest they've paid on the loan.

ChicRock · 09/10/2017 12:01

You've financially supported him for the past 3 years whilst he was at uni?

He's got a lot of catching up to do in terms of financial contributions to match yours then - 3 years worth.

I wouldn't be putting his name on anything,

JoJoSM2 · 09/10/2017 12:08

Well, I can see why people are comparing him to a tenant. It seems a bit of a half-way house, ie your assets aren't 'family assets' and 'family money'. You, yourself, view them as separate and want to protect 'your' interest so it's difficult to view your set up as a unit.

I've been with my DH for less than you've been with your DP. He's a much, much higher earner but we're 'joint tenants' on our house and it never once crossed his mind to 'protect his interests'. We opened a shared account about 1.5 years into the relationship and everything has been shared since.

I think that with your approach, it might be easier to perhaps ask him to pay the bills + groceries while you pay the mortgage. You feel very strongly about protecting your input into the house so it wouldn't be ideal to intertwine your finances through a mortgage or house deeds together. With some other form of contribution to the household (e.g. bills and groceries), hopefully, he would be able to make some long term savings/investments for himself to protect 'his assets' and safeguard the future in case of a split.

Original poster
Sunnyx · 09/10/2017 12:19

He has mainly been in student accommodation with no financial support from me but during uni breaks, he comes to live with me. He's started paying half the bills.

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 09/10/2017 12:38

Wouldn't that work for you that he pays bills and food + some money towards your child and then, rather than mortgage, he saves/invest for his future?

fairyofallthings · 09/10/2017 13:05

Fairy: are you aware that non marrieds can own as 'tenants in common '? In England and Wales? Each owns a legally defined proportion of the house. It isn't shared at all.

Yes, but I was thinking of if he wasn't on the deeds or a party to the mortgage. I owned my first house as 'tenants in common'

Original poster
Sunnyx · 09/10/2017 15:40

JoJo I like your idea but at the same time, him contributing half would give me more disposable income 🤔

OP posts:
CamperVamp · 09/10/2017 18:33

If you haven't actually lived together, with a baby, I would give it 6 months before you do this.

You could put the extra disposable into your pension, which is a tax efficient thing to do and could make the best of your money.

I do agree with Expat about financial dependency when not married, especially if he is building a pension and you are not, etc etc. And remember, you have supported him through the non earning years. He needs to return the compliment in an equitable way.

Anyway, good you are thinking it all through in good time.

Original poster
Sunnyx · 09/10/2017 18:51

I'm a bit confused about the marriage aspect. I don't think I would ever be financially dependent on him. Even with part time work, I will be on more than him and I don't really think he will catch me up before kids grow up a little and I go back full time. From the comments, I gather that everything is considered an asset of the marriage so surely I would be worse off if we were married?

OP posts:
CamperVamp · 09/10/2017 19:56

Yes, actually, in your case you would be worse off if you married.

Women who continue working and have an income the same or greater thsn their DP, and have more asset are OK. It is non married women who give up paid work to be a SAHM, and are not on the deeds, who are vulnerable. Or men in the corresponding position, of course.

JoJoSM2 · 10/10/2017 11:04

at the same time, him contributing half would give me more disposable income

So you want the lower earner in the relationship to contribute 50/50 so that you have more disposable income? How does he feel about that? What happens if you want to go on holiday? Will you take the kids and he'll stay behind because he won't be able to afford it? Will he shop in charity shops while you buy yourself nice stuff?

I am not sure how that's meant to work out without resentment and a rift between you.

Original poster
Sunnyx · 10/10/2017 13:32

JoJo he is happy paying half. As I have more disposable income, I will probably be the one who pays for meals out, baby clothes and general things. I think that if fair.

OP posts:
Spartasprout · 10/10/2017 13:37

A friend of a friend inherited a house from her mother a couple of years ago. She moved in with her partner (they'd been together for several years, he owned his own flat and she wasn't on the deeds or mortgage). She put him on the deeds and they took out a joint mortgage, and four months later he left her when their baby was two months old. He's been trying to force sale on the house that he lived in for four months that she was brought up in, and unfortunately because it's in joint names he owns 50% of the property. He's now trying to force sale, and to avoid that being ordered she has to find a huge amount of money just so she can stay in her own house. They were a long term couple too. Be very wary.

WitchesHatRim · 10/10/2017 13:39

Not fair to expect him to pay 50% into something when he isn't on a parable income nor does he have an interest in the property.

Original poster
Sunnyx · 10/10/2017 14:17

He does have an interest in the property. He wants to contribute and isn't happy with the way things are at the moment and can't wait to earn. And really? Do all couple share bills etc in proportion to their wages?? I bet it will be very mixed.

OP posts:
CamperVamp · 10/10/2017 16:49

JoJo: the OP will have more disposable income because the mortgage payment will be shared! More disposable income than she has now, not more disposable than HIM.

JoJoSM2 · 10/10/2017 18:47

@CamperVamp

Sunny is a higher earner so sharing 50/50 she will have more left over than her partner.

@Sunnyx

I would say that most families have one pot of money and the parents tend to have the same ‘fun/spending money’ regardless of their income. All bills, food, savings/investments, holidays, cars etc come from the the family pot. Although it seems to get a lot more complicated in second marriages and with step children (from reading different threads on here).

However, I do respect that different things work for different people. As long as you and your partner are on the same page, you’ll be happy with your set up.

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