Moving to Scotland... but what do I tell the ex?

[supervillainsmum]

Live in England, divorced a few years ago from 'delightful dearest husband' who moved south to Brighton (from West Yorkshire) with his fancy piece and now only sees his daughter once a year, if he can be bothered. He never calls. He never emails. He had to be forced to pay child maintenance (as in, they take it from his wage before he gets it), and he lies about what comes in because we get a pittance and he spends a fortune on TdF bicycles etc.

Am now remarried to wonderful man, daughter is happy, but not happy in school - she's smart and not doing well in huge class sizes.
I am looking to Edinburgh for my PhD, and the classes in both Primary and Secondary are small across the border. The logic is that we move.

So... the question is... do I need HRH permission to move her to Scotland? He didn't want custody, the divorce cost me nothing - no solicitors, no nothing he even left me the rent-deposit because he wanted to leave for her that much. He quite literally left this place, and his daughter, behind.

Any, any advice would be fantastic.

No you don't need his permission to move. However, he can try to get a court order to stop you taking your daughter to Scotland. It is probably a good idea to talk to him about your plans and try to head off any objection.

Just go, sounds like he wouldn't even notice for a good few months by which time objecting would be pointless as your lives will be established there. Not that he can object anyway since he moved 200-300 miles away first.

I disagree. Change of schools is one of those exercises of parental responsibility that should be made jointly, if possible, and certainly not unilaterally as a fair accompli.

If you did just do it, on these facts, It's hard to see a court getting too exercised, but you would be totally in the wrong.

I think if you were my client I would advise you to tell him what you are planning and see what he does.

Even if he sought a court order, which I doubt he would, his efforts would be futile. Just go!

It may be that you are made to bear the costs of maintaining any contact.

I agree with MrsBertBibby that if he has Parental Responsibility, the decision to change is one that he should be consulted on at the very least, and certainly shouldn’t be presented as a done deal.

Is it possible he may decide not to see your daughter at all if you now move even further away? And what impact would that have on her?

She won’t be made to bear the costs. He has already moved away from his daughter. That’s a moot point anyway because he isn’t going to spend £££ seeking a prohibited steps order.

It’s not OP’s responsibility if he chooses not to see his daughter at all, that’s all about his shit parenting.

I don't understand what the problem is in telling him? If what you say is true , it doesn't seem like he will be too bothered or try and stop you and you would have done the right thing. Obviously if what you have said is just a picture you are painting to gain sympathy or your point is to try and hurt him and distance him from your daughter then all you will do is hurt your daughter and she should be the most important consideration in this.

Of course it’s the OPs responsibility to consider the consequences of her actions, especially if there is a risk that moving could sever what little relationship is left.

And yes, she could well be made to bear the cost of travel.

Not answering your question sorry, but who told you class sizes are small in Edinburgh? Edinburgh is the second fasted growing city in UK in terms of birth rate. And there isn't enough school places.