Hello everybody a good friend advised me to look at your site after receiving some very distressing news this morning. It is a long story I'm sure a lot of you will be able to sympathise with it and there's a lot I could mention but I'll try to keep it brief and see if anyone can help or advise.
My ex has tried every trick in the book to avoid paying child maintenance since February. He applied to have Child Benefit as this would show the CMS that he is the main carer and shouldn't pay CMS and that I should. He was awarded it but when I appealed it the decision was reversed but he appealed it so it was taken off me again but they ruled in my favour so I now have the child benefit unless he takes it to a tribunal.
Previously he had demanded that I should sign a legally binding agreement that we have 50/50 care and I will never ask for maintenance ever again. Then he wont have to pay any child maintenance if I don't then he would go to court to request full custody.
Firstly we were to go to mediation due to the nature of my work its minimum wage, support work with varying days, shifts and overnight sleep ins. He is £600 a week Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm. He claims he can provide more stability and that's why hes going for full custody. Sorry this was meant to be short there's so much more I could mention but I'll cut to the chase.
I got my rota yesterday and advised the mediation company I couldn't make the arranged date but supplied 3 days towards the end of the month as an alternative. He advised the mediation company that was unacceptable and to send him the relevant court papers to start proceedings to be granted full custody.
As per reading on here and like a lot of people I'm scared stiff of going to court. He can be very intimidating and with his aggressive style and the money at his disposal he may just win.
My son is 12 years old (Year 8) and definitely wants to see me as well as his Dad (Who told him once he gets full custody he will hardly see his Mum anymore). We previously worked out an arrangement about where my son stays all written down via a mediator. It has been in force for a while despite his Dad putting a lot of pressure on my son to spend extra days at his house so it becomes 50/50 and then he doesn't have to pay maintenance which is what it is all really about. He thought he had reached that stage and this is why this started in February when he stopped paying the maintenance.
My head is currently spinning around like a washing machine on a full spin and I'm terrified of how this is going to go and more importantly what to do next.
Also CMS have still not decided whether he should pay maintenance (the arrears now go back to February) despite me sending in information on three occasions about where hes registered for the doctor, dentist, school, first contact, which house my son has been at between Feb - April and now because hes appealed it for a second time for the period June - August. So I've got maintenance, had it stopped, then appealed and got it back and now had it stopped again and had to send all the information in again. This was despite being told CMS would rule in favour of who received the child benefit and now they say that doesn't apply.
As you can appreciate this is so draining and due to the nature of my full-time work its taking its toll and I never envisioned that this with regards to CMS would drag on so long. Its been 7 months without any money being paid now and I'm beginning to struggle to fight on. I really hope someone out there can help. Thank you in advance.