Named in Divorce ??

[Namer]

Hi all. Please help with a genuine question.

I have just heard that a nasty exboyf of mine used my name as reason to divorce his wife on grounds of his adultery with me. This is absolutely not true. He fixated on me for years before his marriage and I believe only used my name to hurt his poor wife further and imply we were together which we absolutely were not.

My question... legally is their divorce not valid because he lied about the reasons to achieve it?

Were you sent papers as a co-respondent admitting to the adultery?

No, I have only been told about this recently by people that he told I was the reason for his divorce! I know he did it all himself online with no solicitors involved and he would have really hurt his wife implying he was with me as she knew he fancied me for years previously.

If I was named would I have received some kind of official confirmation about it? He has told people I was the official reason.

Yes, you would be been petitioned as the co-respondent and would have to have signed forms admitting the adultery. Assuming you received nothing and signed nothing, there's no way you could be named on their divorce papers. He's a twat isn't he?!

Not just a twat. A spiteful twat. He told his whole family that I was the reason for his divorce which is clearly absolute bullshit and only designed to hurt his (lovely) young wife. Is that 100% ? I can't believe he would a) do that to her and b) make out I was some kind of guilty party. She had a bloody lucky escape from him - that is the only good thing.

Is that right that you can sue for divorce based in your own adultery? I thought it had to be the yes??
Otherwise everyone who wants a divorce whose ex is making them wait the two years would just shag someone and use that, wouldn't they?

*'the yes' = their own. Sorry.

Oh, I need to go to sleep - what I mean is, the other person's adultery, not the person petitioning?

I don't know the finer details but I presumed that he told her he was with me and she then divorced him on those grounds. Can I even find out anywhere online or anywhere details about their divorce? He really is a nasty piece of work. I hate the idea of her thinking I would have ever been involved with him knowing he was married to her. He only said and did this to hurt her.

It's a pretty nasty thing of him to do. But she's better off without him, so maybe you'd role was important!

That's a nice way of thinking about it but I hate the idea that she believed his lies and was heartbroken

You can. It'll cost though, depending on what information you have
link here

Thank you very much orange. Am I some kind of weird stalker if I do that? I genuinely don't want this girl to suffer because of his bullshit. Do I need a valid reason to get this information?

Nope. It's public records. If it sets your mind at rest, do it

Is that right that you can sue for divorce based in your own adultery

No you cannot.

Can I even find out anywhere online or anywhere details about their divorce

If he divorced her he could not claim an alleged affair with you as grounds for divorce.

If she divorced him and cited his alleged adultery naming you, you would have been co-respondent and would have been notified of the divorce proceedings. You weren't so you definitely were not named in the divorce.

Can I even find out anywhere online or anywhere details about their divorce

If you use the link provided by Orangebird69 you will get a copy of the decree absolute. This will not tell you the grounds for divorce. It will simply confirm when the divorce happened and which of them was the petitioner. There is no way that you or anybody else can find out the grounds on which the divorce was granted. But it definitely was not on the grounds of his alleged adultery with you.

If you want to see what a decree absolute looks like you can see one here. That is what you would get from the court if you paid for a copy.

Can you contact his ex and explain that you have not been anywhere near him for x years?

Leave it alone! It's nothing to do with you!

@MrsBertBibby

Except it's is. That's the whole point of the thread! She's involved and doesn't want to be.

Except it's is. That's the whole point of the thread! She's involved and doesn't want to be

No she isn't. She did not receive any papers from the court. That means she is not named in the divorce.

Thank you all for fab info.

My mind is at rest - legally anyway. God knows why he is going around telling people I was involved, I simply cannot have been named in the divorce as I received no paperwork so that's that. I can say that if anyone asks/repeats his bullshit with confidence now.

Thanks again!

No she isn't! She's just giving airtime to shit-stirring gossip-mongers.

Can you imagine any circumstance in which the poor woman needs to hear from OP?

She may not have been told this. In which case she doesn't need to know now. She may have been told, do you think she will believe Pop's denials? If she cares.

Sorry, she would be giving. Not is.

Good call OP!

Agree with MrsBertBibby. OP, you now know that you're not named. Tbh, I don't see how contacting the exw will help her at all. On whatever grounds they divorced, she dodged a bullet. So did you. Don't give the twat a second thought now.

@prh47bridge - are you sure there are no details on the decree thingy?

I'm sure my mum's has my dad's name on it (classy!) as co-respondent, is that only because he was co-responded then? It's how I found out they had been together before she divorced my sister's dad (though we are told they weren't and my father just sacrificed his name to enable my mother to divorce - a likely bloody story!).

If there is a named co Respondent then yes their name will be on the decree, and they will have had all the papers served on them. That is a giveaway that the petition was fault based.

As the OP hasn't received any papers, she has not been named as co Respondent, and therefore won't be on the decree Absolute.