Reporting history of sexual abuse

[Nmb1812]

Hiya
I was hoping for some feedback from those who have reported sexual abuse from a while back and what the outcome was. I was abused on one occasion by a very close family member 16 years ago. I kept it to myself until 8 years ago when i told my mum, i tried to tell the family members partner as she was due to have a baby and i wanted to ensure the childs safety, i was called all the names under the sun and alot of my nans side of the family didn't want anything to do with me.i remember the details very clearly, where it happened, what i was wearing, what i was doing prior to it happening, where the other people in the house were at that time. I still have nightmares about it every so often and i just want some kind of closure, i dont think he will admit it, i highly doubt he will but i feel this is the only way im going to be able to get closure. Maybe someone will think i am telling the truth instead of believing his lies. Im nervous... does anyone have any kind of positive experience in this situation or was able to get closure
X

I was in court last Dec and he was found guilty 30-odd years after the offending by a family member. I was the only complainant.

Would I do it again? Probably, but it's a tough and long haul through the police/CPS/court process (I first reported in spring 2015) with no guarantee of a guilty at the end, even if it gets to court. Think long and hard about why you are doing it, what you want out of it, how you will cope if you don't achieve what you want, etc. Whatever you do, do it for the right reasons for you.

I must say I cannot fault the police team though, they believed me and supported me right from start to finish - at each step along the way they checked if I still wanted to continue and there was no pressure to do so. I think all forces have specialist sex offences teams now, they were very good and really got how hard it was to speak out.

From my point of view, initially I just wanted the crimes logged so that any children he comes into contact with might be protected and for him to squirm through a police interview - I honestly never expected him to be charged and prosecuted.

Sitting as I am now, with a guilty verdict, I'm glad I did it. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and I can finally move on. I've got a degree of closure, but it's still not something you ever get over really. But I'm well aware not everyone can achieve this.

f you are the sort of person who likes to read up on stuff first, I found this really useful.

rightsofwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/From-Report-to-Court-a-handbook-for-adult-survivors-of-sexual-violence.pdf

Happy to answer any more specific questions you have.

Thank you for your comment im estatic that you got guilty verdict. Im not expecting that however i really dont think he would be able to sit through a police interview and lie. To a certain extent he ruined my life & id give anything to make him suffer even an ounce of the suffering hes cause me. I want people to know him for what he is, i lost my nan before she found out and i know although it was her son she would encourage me to tell the police. I was her only granddaughter and she would have done anything to protect me had she been able to that day. I dont think he deserves the right to have children and to live his life like he did nothing wrong.

I suspect my relation's inability to lie very well was what lead to the guilty verdicts. I had evidence from someone I told years ago, but it was mainly my word against his - and the jury believed me :)

Do what is the right thing for you, but just be ready for all the possible outcomes.

I don't think it ever goes away, but I think I now understand myself a lot better and why I react the way I do sometimes. I'm probably in a better headspace now than I've ever been (most of the time!)

take care x