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Original poster

Can anyone offer legal advice to a good friend of mine?

11 replies

Psychologika · 18/08/2017 15:50

A dear friend is in need of a Shit Hot Lawyer. His wife cheated on him and continues to do so. She's a SAHM, and together they have 4 children (youngest is 14).

Wife does not want to sell the house, and he cannot afford to move out to a separate place and the mortgage and bills of the family home (he's a teacher, so good but normal kind of wage!). He has asked wife to contribute financially, but this has not been agreed.

He's now in a horrid situation where his wife is having an affair, is not financially contributing to the running of the house, meaning he has to live there with it being rubbed in his face, as it were...

My suggestion is to get a SHL as I often see recommended on here! Where does one look? We're in South London.

OP posts:
babybarrister · 18/08/2017 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedHelenB · 20/08/2017 20:26

With 4 kids and her a SAHM he may not be able to sell the house. Child maintenance minimum would be roughly 25% of his net pay. Can he live elsewhere on 75% of his wage?

Original poster
Psychologika · 21/08/2017 08:36

Yes he could, but the problem is she wants him to continue to pay all the mortgage and bills for the house, which is most of his pay.

OP posts:
Original poster
Psychologika · 21/08/2017 08:37

Also only two kids at home now, 16 and 14. He'd happily let her stay in the house if she paid towards it.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 21/08/2017 08:53

If he moves out it is unlikely he will be ordered to pay all the mortgage because he will need to spend money housing himself. On the other hand there is only 4 years until youngest is an adult so maybe he could contribute more than the bare minimum and sell after that? Paying for a hot shot lawyer means they get the benefit not the children.

Cherrytart6 · 21/08/2017 09:05

can he directly pay the mortgage with the child maintenance money?

Original poster
Psychologika · 21/08/2017 09:48

He will always pay as much as he can for the kids, that's not the issue. Problem is a relatively high mortgage and bills (London) which his wife is refusing to contribute to. This means that he has to continue to live in the property despite it (in my opinion, and hence my worry) affecting his mental health.

He won't just move out to force her hand, as he does not want to put the children through that stress. Additionally, it's likely that she just wouldn't pay, putting the house at risk.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 21/08/2017 13:34

Well if he isn't prepared to force her hand he will have to wait the four years. Maybe if things get serious with the guy she's seeing she might negociate .

Original poster
Psychologika · 21/08/2017 14:44

I guess he'll have I see what the family court says!

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RedHelenB · 21/08/2017 16:44

If it gets that far it will cost a lot of money. The children are at crucial ages education wise and they will be seen as the priority by the courts. If he moves out starts divorce proceedings gives his ex 20 -25 %of his salary could she afford the mortgage on that and tax credits?

Original poster
Psychologika · 21/08/2017 17:50

I don't know how much tax credits come to? He's desperate for it not to go to court! However she's refusing mediation and wants communication to be through solicitors

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