I have had a long and difficult divorce from my ex. We split 8 years ago and I have remarried. He waged what can only be described as a war against us and made allegations through social services.
My daughter at this time was 9 yrs old and had totally had her head turned by dad and his then gf. After years of abuse and domestic abuse I flipped and took an overdose. Not proud but there had been so many battles about everything and I was also nearly financially ruined £18 k to try and get him out of the marital home so we could sell whilst myself and 2 kids had to rent.
I remember the cafcass worker saying I was not being normal and I thought god years of this abuse and the only way he will stop is if I'm not here.
I had to emotionally protect myself and so I allowed my daughter to live with him....felt really I had no choice due to her age. He moved her schools in year 6 and was horrendous to deal with. Gloating and gf being horrendous too. Enrolling her into clubs on my contact time etc
I took it all for 3 years and but my tongue and had a lovely happy marriage with my husband. I saw my daughter and we gradually rebuilt our relationship.
Ff 3 years and he has split with the gf and she has said she know what I went through ...the utter bitch!
My daughter is now 13 and has had major issues with dad he's having the same relationship with her that he did with me being abusive and controlling. She wants shared care as he has threatened to never see her if she comes home. I'm happy with this as I have been wary about dragging everything up however had my hand forced July time due to verbal abuse escalating towards her.
I made an emergency application as I felt I was being complicit by not doing something.
Involved social services and believe me this was the last thing I wanted but had no choice. He has now been forced to accept her wishes due to her age and she is with me until we go back to court. She is taking seeing dad very slowly but he has a habit of manipulating people loads of examples too numerous to mention. I only communicate via email as he goads and tries to play mind games .
I must say I have since all this stress been diagnosed bi polar however am Med free and work full time as a bank manager so have a responsible job. Am really trying not to care what cafcass say as I know how easy he manipulated them last time . My daughter is very bright and clear about what has been going on so want to leave her to have her voice heard .
It's hard because she says things that I totally understand like "the look" he gives when he's getting angry. I'm so trying not to encourage but myself and my husband have seen his behaviour for what it is so can't deny what she is saying cos we do now have this shared experience
Phew sorry for the ramble just trying to stay calm and stand up for her have been a wimp for too long