50/50 Custody

[workingmumdevon]

Hi, I wondered if there were any others out there that have a 50/50 custody arrangement with their ex and who have been through a prolonged court case on finances with the ex. I am after some insight as to how the courts view the rights of the child when they genuinely spend equally time in both homes? Our solicitor has never been through this either so is no help.
Long story short - my blended family of 7 in a 4 bed house but with the mix of genders and ages means 3 kids share one room, we are overcrowded, the ex is living in a 4 bed home and refusing to sell as it is "the family home". We cant move as the money is tied up in the old house and his name is still on the mortgage. We are facing court in a months time for the initial hearing and I am so worried. Has any one been through similar and can over any words of advice?
Many thanks in advance.

How many children are in your ex's home? Is your home rented?

There are 3 kids in (my partners) ex's house and I own my home in my name. Sorry I wasn't very clear. My partners ex earns a good wage and could afford a morgage in her own right albeit not for the house she is in.

That's fairly hard to advise on without a lot more info.

The court will usually, at FDA order the parties to obtain evidence of mortgage capacity from both parties, and for both to provide evidence of properties they say are suitable for themselves, and for each other. If your partner is wanting to rehouse "up" with you and your kids, you will need to give your financial information too, and your joint mortgage capacity.

The court is able to order her to sell and downsize, but may well not. Your kids don't have the status their kids do in these proceedings, and the court may feel forcing them into sharing in one home so they share less in the other isn't worth the cost and upheaval.

I would be keen to ensure the direction for mortgage capacity evidence is well drafted so everyone goes to a proper broker, not just a nice chat with Nationwide, who are very conservative lenders. Suggest the broker is paid for the advice as a proper expert. Ultimately mortgage capacity and affordability is likely to be the determining factor here.

Thanks mrsbertbibby.

In this case she earns 3 x my partner and her new partner earns around 80k. We have filed and submitted our FD months ago but she has yet to provide hers even though court date for return was 21.7.17.

In my home we do not distinguish between the kids (as in mine or his ) it it's simple the 3 youngest that are sharing one room, 2 of them happen to be my partners.
I suppose I am concerned we are waiting thousands taking her to court, There doesn't seem to be much precedent on this.

So your new partner's ex wife is in a 4 bed house with the children half the time. She and her new partner earn quite a bit. She wants to keep herself and the 3 children in their current 4 bed home after the divorce finances are sorted out. The 3 chidlren of the marriage spend half their time in each house.

Your partner presumably would prefer she was forced to sell, move somewhere smaller and release equity. I had to remortgage (a huge amount) to pay my lower earner husband on divorce but I could keep the children in their same family home (and my husband was free to have the children half the time if he wanted although he never chose to do that nor to pay anything).

I would look at what the two offers say - what does your new partner want on his divorce and what does his ex wife want - look at how big that sum is and see what can be done to keep his children in their house with their mother whilst also ensuring he has enough that it is a fair financial settlement in the divorce. My children's father (mny ex husband) earns less than I do, he didn't have the children to stay at all and he got (by negotiation, not court order) just over half our joint assets. Is your partner also trying to get spousal maintenance from his higher earner wife?

Hi Lucysky, the only thing we want it's for the ex to be realistic and reasonable. We have put forward a multitude of offers and suggestions all of which have been dismissed without discussion. We are forced to take her to court to finalise arrangements and complete the divorce proceedings. It is a hugely complex situation I grant. She has admitted adultary on the nisi but now refusing to include her new partner on the fd so that her situation looks more favourable.
We would ideally like to sell and move closer to the kids school as it is an hour round trip each way every day but can't as she is refusing to release him from the mortgage or buty him out.
He can't work more because we have the kids 50/50 and the traveling to school is cutting into work time.

It's a mess.