Exh threatening enforcement

[snowflakesandstrawberries]

DD refusing contact
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/2952244-dd-refusing-contact

Link to previous post.

Clearly there is a lot of history. DD hasn't been to contact since previous post. All agreed in text between exh and DD.

Exh came to collect DC for holiday contact. DS went happily, DD refused. Exh immediately began to call her names and told her she didn't have a choice, no encouragement, very nasty from the start. They row on the doorstep. I attempt to intervene to see if we can come to an agreement, and discuss her concerns such as DD wants to see her friends in the holidays, I try to calm DD down and ask her to fetch her shoes etc. Exh tells me to butt out and states he will not speak to me. He then stands in the drive for half an hour, door still open. Exh tells DD that mum will be in big trouble and we will be back in court, and walks off.

I've since tried to text him, saying I will arrange to take her round, does he want to try to collect her again, can we negotiate some arrangements that everyone will be happy with...no response.

What can I do? I don't think he can afford court but am I totally fucked if he does?

Go and see a solicitor.

I'm still paying off far too much every month from the last few years. I just can't.

I've not gone through your whole previous thread so apologies if I've missed something pertinent.

When my parents divorced I was 12 and deemed responsible enough to make my own mind up so they wouldn't enforce a contact order on me - this might be the same at 11 but it's dependent on the child and what CAFCASS think.

Also if you've kept the voicemails and keep the texts as proof that you've tried your hardest to facilitate contact then I'd imagine that would work massively in your favour if he does take you back to court. I know you've said you can't afford to go and see a solicitor - would it be worth calling CAFCAS to see if they can advise you?

Lastly, IME it's very rare for the courts to actually impose the sanctions on parents they deem to be breaking the court order. I have various friends split from the mothers who keep withholding the child from them, they've gone back to court a few times (one of them 5 times!!) the court deems the mother is breaking it but just puts a new one in place so I wouldn't panic, especially since you can demonstrate that you are making the effort!

I couldn't even tell you how many times he took me back to court. Each time, his enforcement application was attached to an application for the children to live with him. Obviously this was never upheld but it was very close. I'm still paying out half my salary on the debts from defending myself, so I can't afford to go to a solicitor.

She's 11. From about 13 they can decide. Could the two of you not have picked her up and dumped her in his car?

He wouldn't come near to the door. He spent the whole time at the end of the drive shouting. He told me to get in the house when I tried to intervene.