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Does anyone remember me? My situation just got more urgent

6 replies

Winged · 14/07/2017 19:06

I posted on this board last year having just discovered that I'd received negligent legal advice on my separation/divorce back in 2013. Thread is here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_matters/2609214-Really-need-some-advice-on-whether-to-pursue-this-matter-divorce-related?msgid=60534713

Over a year has passed and I'm still in the same position, living in private rental and my XH living in the marital home. I had every intention of pursuing a financial order against my XH but unfortunately life has got in the way. My health is quite poor and I had a few months out of work following the end of a contract so financially things were very tough, particularly as XH had stopped paying maintenance at this point. My DD, who already had some mental health problems, deteriorated rapidly and has been suicidal for around a year. We strongly suspect she has ASD. It's been an uphill battle getting professional support but one of the recommendations has been that DD ideally needs her own room (she's highly destructive and violent towards younger DD whom she shares with) and she needs a space in the house where she can decompress/a sensory room. Our house is far too small to accommodate this so having XH split the assets to allow us to get somewhere bigger that will better accommodate her needs could make a huge difference to our family. I would also like to use some of the money to get private help as we are really struggling to get anywhere with the public system.

In addition, XH has reestablished a relationship with a vile drug abusing women whom he had several affairs with when we were together. Despite having only been 'back on' for around 6 weeks, my DD informs me that she has moved in with my XH and has put her property on the market. She has children so I will likely get a reduction in the meagre amount of support I have only just started receiving after engaging the CMS. It gauls me that they are doing this while my DC suffer financially at his hands.

This is the final straw for me. I am completing the paperwork this weekend and filing with court. Thankfully, I'm back into part time work but despite this, I cannot afford a solicitor and will be self representing. I had some wonderful advice last time so was hoping the lovely posters here might be able to guide me through the process.

I have already been to mediation. He didn't turn up so I have the MIAM. I am printing the forms tonight and completing over the weekend. Can anyone help with the following questions please?

  1. If this woman moves in/has moved in, do her rights affect my case?
  2. Will my DD's issues affect the case? We do not have a diagnosis but I could possibly get letters from the professionals currently supporting her
  3. How much will the further delay affect the case? I really wish I'd been in a position to do this last year but it has been one of the worst years of my life and I just didn't have the emotional or financial resources to fight him. Will the courts be understanding?
  4. Is the case still worth pursuing in light of this information?
5.I have decided to ask for 50% of the value of the property and I will leave all other assets alone. Does this seem fair?

Apologies for the length of this post and thank you for reading if you got this far. This situation feels so desperate to me.

OP posts:
Familylawsolicitor · 15/07/2017 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Familylawsolicitor · 15/07/2017 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliceTown · 15/07/2017 10:01

Not sure that's right, FamilyLawSolicitor. If the ExH is living with a woman who claim she child benefit then there will indeed be a reduction in the amount the CMS say is due.

Familylawsolicitor · 15/07/2017 10:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roomba · 15/07/2017 10:08

if cohabitee is working and this means ex has more household income than you (ie someone to share bills with) then this will probably increase your claim.

Really? I was advised the opposite when I queried this a couple of years ago. I also got a lot of snide comments about why was I expecting this woman to fund my children (sigh) despite explaining it was purely because my ex's expenses were now much lower so in theory he had more for his children. I didn't want any of her money!

AliceTown · 15/07/2017 10:24

The state expects the ExH to support the new partners children, and removes any state support (e.g. Tax credits) the new partner receives for her children. This can be a substantial part of the new partners income.
If the new partner is on a low wage and receives little or no maintenance, then what else can be done?

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