Cost of Contact

[TPOD74]

Hi does anyone have any views on how to share the cost of contact, when these are very high?

It will depend on all kinds of things. What the costs are, why they are being incurred, ability to pay etc.

Well I guess my question is that should the resident parent subsidise the NRP for contact if she is much better off?

Again, it's impossible to say without the details. There will be some circumstances where that is appropriate and some where it isn't at all.

Agree with AliceTown. Without more details the question is unanswerable.

Okay I'm not being coy, just trying to avoid a long boring description. Situation is as follows, I used to have a very well paid job but have been unemployed for 18mths. I live in France and DS/EX live in London. Annual costs of contact are ca 20k (school fees 16k, maintenance 27.5k). Recent court order demands, 16k school fees and 30k of arrears plus ongoing maintenance. The 20k costs of contact were excluded from the assessment of the court. I have no further assets to sell, I'm 40-50k in debt and I have my house on the market. The Other Side has 600k in the bank, no mortgage to speak of and gets 90k pa for a 16.5hrs a week.... I haven't seen my son for 18mths...

Which parent decided to move? Morally, I think if a parent moves away from the other, they have a responsibility to cover the additional travel costs that incurs.

Good question, she undertook to move here before getting pregnant. She then changed her mind and decided to stay in London and promptly kicked me out. I've lived here for 20 years, she's been in London the whole time and we were together for 2.5 years. Don't think that helps though

What do you mean by costs of contact? Flights?

flights are a big part of it (18k pa for me for GVA-LON) but I'm not allowed to bring DS over here for the weekends, so its hotels etc in London for 16 weekends per year...

£18k for 16 return flights? Are you flying first class?!

Why can't you take your son to France?

Is it cheaper for you to pay ex to fly to France sometimes?

Was the "recent course case" before or after you were made redundant?

Can you explain more clearly ? It reads like you are paying 27k in maintenance and £16k in school fees. Why are you doing this if you have no job ? Why are you paying for a private school when the cost of fees could go towards you visiting him. ? UK has extremely good state school system. Private schools are an indulgence for the rich. You don't sound rich. Unless you WERE rich and have intentionally given up your job to avoid these commitments and the court has seen through it. If this is not the case then you need to go back to court for a re-assessment urgently.

Something not quite straightforward here. You say 'maintenance' at 27k. This has to be child maintenance as your ex is earning far too much and marriage was far too short for any form of spousal. (Don't even think you were married. - you don't say. ) Therefore £27k a year for one child is an extraordinary amount of money. The standard CM calculation is 10% of your income before pension contributions. The top rate of earning to be assessed is £2k per week and max CMA assessment is £10600. Resident parents have to apply to a court to have additional maintenance set. As the court have set your payments at more than two and a half times the standard rate - I would assume they did this with some kind of evidence of your income rather than just because your child's mother asked. !
Based on the incredibly slim bits of info provided - it would be fair to assume you were earning £200k plus.

So, based on all of the above. Why haven't you seen your son for 18months. Whilst you may have had massive outgoings whilst working and got through savings in the last year and a half. That didn't happen overnight.

Some honest info needed here.

The other thing is that you and your ex seem to be equating maintenance/ costs with access. Your child has a right to a rełationship with both parents unless it is not safe. It should not be 'pay per view'. What does your child need? Why haven't you made an application to the court for a child arrangement order? What about Skype or FaceTime? There are so many options.

Doesn't add up...