Just want to leave but struggling with the legalities of it all

[MrsExpo]

Was going to name change, but anyhow ......

I've been unhappily married for some years now. My DH can be emotionally abusive, difficult (massive under statement!) and selfish. We live in an unmortgaged home valued at around £450k, own three cars (all in his name!) and have other assets. I am seriously considering leaving for the sake of my sanity and to allow me to move on with my life, either as a single person or with a new partner who treats me with some respect. I would like to stress that there is no one in the frame at the moment!!

My wonderful older brother knows of my situation and has offered me a lifeline in the form of a substantial financial gift/loan. Enough to buy a modest home and provide financial backup. I'm in my 60's and retired so this offer is highly tempting. My issue is that if I just buy somewhere and move out, leaving DH in residence here, where do I stand legally with regard to the ownership of our current home, getting DH to sell it and move out and gaining possession of my share of our marital assets. We currently live on his substantial occupational pension income plus a modest contribution from one of my own as well as his state pension. I am not due to get my own state pension for another two years. Can I claim a share of his pension as income for myself.

All these huge questions are currently keeping me rooted in a marriage which is sterile at best. I feel like I need to move on and get the best out of my later years but I can't see the woods for the trees, as it were.

Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated. Thank you for reading.

Yes you can claim your 50% of the marital assets and yes you can claim on his pension, even if you move out!

I would speak to a solicitor to get an idea of timeframe etc. Also to ascertain if there are grounds for unreasonable behaviour to divorce or whether you'll have to use the 2 years separation rule.

Make sure your brother doesn't give you a penny, though, otherwise that will be counted in the marital assets.

Imperialblether

Eek .... I never thought of that. The last thing I'd want is for my DH to be able to claim half of my brothers gift. (We're talking of a lump sum of around £200k). If it were a properly structured loan with clear monthly repayments agreed etc, I assume that would negate that? It just gets more complicated .....

I think he should buy a place and allow you to live in it for rent. You won't have to declare the rent. But if he gives you anything, it will become part of the marital pot and will be split. Lucky you know now - imagine your brother's face as your husband takes £100K off him!

Just to be clear, you are not necessarily entitled to 50% of the marital assets. It could be more or less than that depending on the circumstances. Everything he owns goes into the pot and so does everything you own. So the cars are marital assets even though they are in his name.

Make sure you get proper legal advice before deciding what to do regarding your brother's offer.