Confused about organising a Will.

[SmileInAWhile]

Family situation is slightly complicated, I'm undergoing surgery in a few months and have realised that I really need to make a will.

DH and I have a blended family, 1DC each and 1DC together. (3dc in total) DH does not have parental rights over my DS. DS sees his father once every other weekend for 3 hours in a contact centre, not court ordered. His father was abusive, and left just after DS was born. History of alcohol, drug and gambling abuse. He has never had unsupervised contact with DS.

Without having sole residency provided by court, is there any way my wishes of my DS not living with his father are taken into consideration? DS has grown up with DH. DS and I took DH's surname when I married. He is settled at home with his siblings.

Is this a common situation? Or do I need to find someone who specialises in messy family will writing?

It's not at all unusual for a parent to appoint a guardian in a will, notwithstanding that the other parent is alive.

Appointing a guardian doesn't trump the parental responsibility of the surviving parent but is a clear signal to the court which would adjudicate any dispute.

I suggest that you appoint your DH as guardian and simply say that you consider that your child's best interests would be served by his not living day to day with his father. Then keep a statement of your reasons with your copy of the will and update it from time to time. Make it easily accessible to your DH.

In the unlikely event that you died before your son is 18, your DH would make an application under the Children Act for a child arrangements order (aka a residence order). The court would ask a Cafcass officer to investigate and write a report setting out their recomendations which the court almost always follows. That report will cover everything from your son's wishes and feelings, the impact of a change to the status quo, and in particular will focus on your son's emotional, physical, educational and social needs, and how they can best be addressed either by his dad or step dad.

If you want any more info feel free to PM me.

Mumblechum is I believe the MN will person, loads of us have had Wills done by her - she is great! You could just get it done via MC

@mumblechum0 thank you so much for your reply. If possible I would like to take you up on your pm offer. I really have no idea how to start. Will pm tomorrow.

Idon't thanks for the recommendation!

Smile, that's great thanks. You know where I am whenever you're ready.