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Negotiating divorce finances - how?

8 replies

Sortingfinances · 04/06/2017 23:04

Hi
Can anyone give any advice about splitting finances?
We are trying to sort things amicably and without legal costs but I'm a bit stuck.
I have an idea of a rough percentage split of assets but don't want to be a pushover.
I had an initial meeting with a solicitor a while back.
Would a solicitor now advise on the actual split? Not sure of my next steps and want to get it right.
Thanks.

OP posts:
caroldecker · 04/06/2017 23:36

based on complete lack of information. If multi-millionares, tends to be based on need. for the rest of us
basic start position is 50:50
Influenced by:
Children
Age
length of marriage
employment choices
etc

Iloveyouthismuch · 04/06/2017 23:39

Mediation can help you to work out a fair and amicable financial separation and is much cheaper than solicitors.

Sortingfinances · 04/06/2017 23:46

Not millionaires!
There seems to be no clear info on the web to indicate how far from 50:50.
Kids live with me full time. I earn less. Normal professional type salaries. Sufficient funds/salaries to have a mortgaged home each.
Would a solicitor be able to say 'aim for X%' ?
We have decree nici and all valuations.

OP posts:
Sortingfinances · 04/06/2017 23:48

Sorry missed second reply. Does the mediator offer an opinion or just facilitate thrashing it out? In which case do I need a solicitor appointment first to work out what I'm aiming for?
Thanks to both of you!

OP posts:
Afterthestorm · 04/06/2017 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Afterthestorm · 04/06/2017 23:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

caroldecker · 05/06/2017 00:04

Normal professional salaries can mean 20K to £150k each, different solution for each.
Go and see a solicitor for an hour, with all finances to get and idea, then try mediation.
remember: assets include house, savings, pension etc.
There is the asset split to agree and then child maintenance (spousal is unlikely). remember to agree ages for support/private school fees/university costs.
Also agree contact details (who where when) how will they travel between, birthdays/christmas/holidays

murrell0cherri · 05/06/2017 11:22

If you are still on speaking terms I would suggest mediation as a starting point.

For the simple reason that you will both have a role in shaping the agreement and as such this can lead to positive results.

The Mediator is an impartial third party who can help both of you to find solutions.

Legally speaking 50/50 is the STARTING point but what is more important is where you end up. This will depend on the circumstances. These vary from case to case, which is why its very difficult to state up front what you can expect because you can not guarantee the actions of your spouse/their solicitor.

What starts out as a amicable divorce can become contentious very quickly and often for the smallest of reasons.

More importantly with court orders you are asking a third party to make a decision and again there are no guarantees, the pendulum can swing both ways and people are rarely satisfied with the results.

If possible court should always be the remedy of last resort.

If you go down the solicitor/court route you will essentially be depleting the 'mutual pot' that will enable you both to move on to the next chapters of your lives.

The following are helpful guides to mediation and I hope that they are of use and make things a little clearer.

www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/survival-guide-using-family-mediation-after-break

www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/survival-guide-sorting-out-your-finances-when-you-get-divorced

www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/

www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends

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