My husband and I both have full time jobs and are both paid relatively well but he earns almost 2 x what I earn. However, living in London means that our bills are quite high. Nevertheless, jointly we have enough to sustain our new baby well enough - however, my husband doesnt see it that way.
I am currently 30 weeks pregnant and the subject of pregnancy and child expenses has been raised several times with no conclusion. I don't have paid maternity leave but spoke to him and we decided that I will take 6 months off, where statutory leave will cover 2 months and the remaining 4 months. I agreed to save for, to cover my expenses (which are large). Furthermore, I have been paying a hefty private medical insurance on my own for 3 years to cover private maternity care. Unfortunately, it covers the obstretrician and most scans but is short of £6000 for the hospital stay. There's the general scans, blood tests and obviously child related costs (buggy, car seat, clothing, nursing etc) which are not covered either.
Basically, my husband, since the beginning of this planned pregnancy, expects me to cover all the above costs on my own. Whenever, I bring this up, he challenges to say to look at our expenses retrospectively (where we went out ALOT and holidayed loads) but our lifestyle has changed dramatically since I am pregnant. He has been completely unsupportive in the pregnancy, not reading any books, no planning with lists of stuff we need, doesn't care about the aftermath (we have no family here) so expects me to just get on with it both financially and with no support. I will be on my own after the baby is born even if I have a c-section. I find this incredibly unfair and have often said having a baby is not my responsibility - we made a joint decision to have a child - but he avoids the topic.
He works late (till after 10 pm) on 2-3 days per week for the last couple months. I can see that the physical support I will get from him will be minimal. When he sees me crying and upset, he does nothing. Theres no sensitivity to my emotions or the stress I am experiencing. I don't have the money to cover these costs - I had agreed that I will save to cover my unpaid maternity leave but he should cover the remaining costs (as it is still less than half the unpaid maternity leave costs) and is only fair. I see that he misses all the freedom he had being single but this is no way to behave. I feel so unsupported that I now believe, even if I am poorer on my own, I would have less stress and am better off alone.
Any advice on this type of predicament?