Urgent Death bed will

[RosesareSublime]

DF dying and has told me today he can barely talk but is lucid that he has lost his will and needs to make one today, Obv am calling round to try and facilitate this but can they do something at such short notice?

will they write it out here and now and get nursers to witness it, he has heart failure and can only talk in fits and bursts. he cant answer many questions.

It was done by solicitor in the end, not by me{!!} thank goodness - she was already at the hospital, this must be very common! I had no idea when first wrote thread. They seemed very adept at the whole situation!
They went to see someone before us - but didn't get far as they had question mark over capacity.
Worried about him being discharged now, he is settled in hospital, pain just about under control, moving him will cause pain. If I knew he was staying in until the end, I could relax more....
if only we could choose how we died! We have had some lovely days though, told each other we love each other, he has seen GC....had a chat about Nelson I hope its not drawn out.

Everyone should be made to do a will and sort out power of attorny too.

Yes, everyone should. I just did a new one as the youngest 2 children are 18 and I had wills done for the now adult children too. I wrote my first will at age 18. Also it can be a good idea to send people in the family copies so there are no surprises later and make people know where it is kept - with a solicitor, in your safe or whatever.

Good luck with your father. In a sense mine died (at his home) a few years before he did die as he had dementia.

Do you know if your father wants to die at home or in hospital? My father was keen to die at home (and my mother too - they both died in the same house actually at home). Obviously depends on people's conditions at the time however. We found my mother's funeral wishes 4 months after she died in an old plastic bag. It didn't matter as she had the Catholic funeral mass and burial she wanted anyway but people should try to make sure they know those kinds of things in advance if possible.

I agree, DH has just done his, and I will get one eventually. Good idea to encourage DC to do one too - good practice and Yes - tell people where it is ! Be open about these things don't be afraid to talk about them!!

I don't know yet - he has been panicking about money - he has assets but not much ready cash and he is worried about that. I am not sure how it works if he has to go to special care home, I assume a debt is simply made agaisnt his asserts to be settled when he passes away. If thats the case - there is nothing to worry about, if they need to sell assests first - which sounds odd.....then he may worry.

What is it with a certain generation and old plastic bags dm was famous for hers - no fancy handbags, and DF house covered in them too.
He may wish to go home as he can get his hands on the drugs
( prescript ed) that he wants when he wants them, he has to beg for them here. And wheels turn so slowly " need to ask doctor, " then doctor rushed for other stuff, then forgot to tell new doctor on hand over, he just wants what he wants he knows what he needs.So in that case - perhaps home, will try and see tomorrow. But I doubt it would pass an assessment, and he has already fallen out of bed. However if he is at that stage I believe he would be heavily medicated anyway....

That's very sweet to die at home together - albeit at separate times.

Sitting here on the ward, really reinforces my own wish to be able to give markers to my relatives /medics when I want to go!!!

I hope it works out as your father wants. He probably would prefer to die at home - most people do. In terms of paying for care when dying I am not sure what happens with hospices. With long term care homes they often don't take you until you've paid in advance if it's a private care home but they are probably different things from end of life terminal hospice care.