Horrific judge in contact hearing

[catarratto]

In a recent hearing, my child's father returned to court to withdraw his application for contact. This was following a cafcass report stating my child has been referred to a counsellor due to the trauma of the DA she has seen when on co tact visits. She also ordered drug testing, a mental health order review amongst other things. It has been 4 years since any direct contact took place. At the hearing, my child's solicitor and cafcass suggested indirect contact. After speaking to my solicitor I was initially reluctant. Firstly because I do not want my child to be traumatised any further and secondly because this could be used by him to return to court accusing me of not sticking to the order. When the judge was told I disagreed, the judge would not allow my solicitor to put my case forward and threatened me with a psychological assessment. The whole point of the hearing was for my child's father to withdraw an application for contact. After further discussions with my solicitor I decided to go with it with the stipulation he must not turn up at the third party's house and as suggested, indirect contact to be no more than 3 times a year. When we re entered the court room, the judge then queried why I had changed my mind so quickly and said he didn't know if I'd pass any correspondence on. He then threatened me with a section 37 if I failed to comply and gave me a stern lecture about the roll of the mother. My child's ex uses situations like these to take me back to court and it has been 10 years of hell. How the hell can I prove I have given my daughter the letters?! I will do so but told my solicitor if it traumatised her in any way I will contact him. Also, if he stays out of trouble for a year, he may re apply for contact. Would they still look at these issues? I am a complete nervous wreck. Is this over? The judge has ordered correspondence 3x a year. He was the most horrible judge I have ever had to deal with. He was rude, dismissive and nasty and insinuated I was being obstructive when all I want to do is protect my child and treated my child's father as if he was the wronged party. All he has ever done is caused chaos and trauma to my child's life.

Bumping for you.

You have my sympathy, it seems there are some terrible judges out there who simply don't look at the full picture and bully the people in court.

It's good that you have a solicitor. I think my mum found how you can complain about judges while we have been dealing with an awful situation for my sister, I will ask her for the details for you.

judicialconduct.judiciary.gov.uk/making-a-complaint/

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Sadly, judges have bad days like the rest of us, and the systematic underfunding of the courts and dismantling of legal aid means the bad days are more and more frequently.

Also, a few of them are just shits.

I'm terrified he will attach a section 37 to the order because I was in such a state I can't remember properly but I'm sure it was a threat. Has anyone got experience of this?
Thanks MrsBertBibby for the link btw.
I had a look at the website but worry that if there were more proceedings I'd get him again!!!

I really shouldn't worry about him threatening you with a s37 report! Worst case scenario, Social Services will do a report and say you're fine.

No one can "prove" what happens with the letters, but I generally advise the following:

Open them before showing them to your daughter to check how appropriate they are. Keep the dodgy ones, and encourage your daughter to keep the ones you give her, maybe in a special nice box, even if she doesn't read them. Keep the box where she can get it, if she wants (not in her room unless she wants that.

This might sound silly but can you take a photo (timestamped) of her with any letters as proof?

God no, don't do that, how would you explain it to your daughter?

Ultimately, if someone wants to enforce the order, they have to prove you didn't give her the letters, rather than you proving you did. It's utterly meaningless, and the judge knows it, which is probably why he was bad tempered.

Thank you for your advise :)
My solicitor said if there are any inappropriate ones he will photograph them and use them as evidence. If he he gets proof of postage and a letter didn't arrive, how can I prove I didn't receive it? I'm really sorry to go on but after years of his viciousness plus that vile judge, my mind is working overtime. As he saw the judge reprobate me, it would plant a seed in his mind to accuse me of not complying. He has done this before.

You can't, but again, if he is trying to have you punished for failure to comply, the burden of proof is on him to prove you didn't comply, not on you to prove you did. And presumably he has heard of recorded delivery?

I discussed that with my solicitor but he is under no obligation to do so. Originally cafcass wanted him to be drugs tested and his mental health and violence looked into and then he withdrew his application. If he were to apply for direct contact in say a year, would these issues still be looked at even if he had not been in trouble with the law in this time?