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Original poster

Next of kin???

10 replies

Jojojo1701 · 07/12/2016 16:36

Me and my ex split 7 years ago. We have a 11 year old. When she was born, and registered (jointly) I registered her with my gp. I was automatically put down as next of kin. Anyway. My dad is going on a school trip in January, she was sent home with a form to fill in asking for personal details. My exams girlfriend filled it in. But instead of putting my details she put their address. Dd lives with me. I was put as second emergency contact. It's really annoyed me to be honest. Don't know if I'm over reacting. The last time she filled in a form she didn't add me at all. When I went mental she said" I didn't think you'd want to be bothered" what the Hell! That's my daughter

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 07/12/2016 16:52

You are over reacting and being unreasonable.

An emergency contact is not a competition about whos most important. It is just someone the school can call in case of an emergency.

A father is equally a parent as is a mother. I assume he is parentally responsible for her?

titchy · 07/12/2016 17:00

Sorry what? Why is your ex even receiving the forms if your dd lives with you? Or have I misunderstood?

Original poster
Jojojo1701 · 07/12/2016 17:08

I never said I was more important. Not at all. We have equal say in everything. He's quite often uncontactable and works quite a lot. The last time they put his girlfriend instead of me on the form. The form went home in her school bag and she was sleeping at her dad's that night.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jojojo1701 · 07/12/2016 17:10

On all the medical stuff her address is my address. And everything medical comes to me through the hospital. Just didn't want to lose precious time if anything happened. That's all

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 07/12/2016 17:15

If you have equal say in everything then surely it doesn't matter who is first and who is second. Something happens, school ring him, he rings you. What difference will those 90 seconds make in all honesty?

FATEdestiny · 07/12/2016 18:41

(1) Next of kins do not need to live at the same address.

(2) Emergency contact for a school trip is not the same as next of kin. It can be any person the parents deem to be first contact in case of an emergency. (If parents are taking the opportunity for a night away, for example, so are uncontactsble then emergency contact could be a nominated other person - grandparent, neighbour, friend, other relative.)

What "previous time" do you forsee being missed? Emergency treatment does not require knowing address. And anyway does your ex know your and your daughters address?

In context of an emergency contact for a school trip, you are over reacting.

Original poster
Jojojo1701 · 07/12/2016 19:05

Thank you for your honesty. The problem is my ex won't speak to me so I don't really trust that he would ring me. And yes he does know the address. He lived here for 6 years. I thought I was just wanted a different opinion thanks

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 07/12/2016 19:30

Then the only thing that matters is that the emergency contact on the school trip form is someone who is connectable at all times and can attend at the drop of a hat if there was an emergency.

It didn't really matter who that person is. From the point of view of your daughters school they just want someone to phone if they need to say yours dd is throwing up, come and fetch her. Or theres been a bomb threat at the venue so we are leaving early and she'll need collecting 2h earlier than expected. Or she's been in an accident and is on the way to hospital. Or similar.

So if your ex and his girlfriend understand they need to be contactable for the duration of the school trip, then it's no problem. The problem would be him not being connectable for the trip. But that's why there's usually a second contact on the form as well.

Him possibly not phoning you is a seperate issue here. But it wouldn't stop him from being first emergency contact for his daughter on a school trip.

Original poster
Jojojo1701 · 07/12/2016 19:34

I knew I was over reacting. Just needed to hear it from someone else. There are other issues obviously. I'm not too confident he would contact me. They took her to the hospital once and never informed me. Thru told the drs she hadn't had a poo for 5 days which resulted in them giving her laxatives. When she'd had 1 that morning. I think that was my main issue about it. Thank you x

OP posts:
icyfront · 07/12/2016 19:56

Sounds like the ex's girlfriend is overstepping the boundaries. She has no business filling in forms regarding your daughter.

I would suggest asking the school - along the lines of: are they happy with the contact details given by

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